12.23.16 Forgiveness

Tonight I was the kind of mom I want to be. 

Today's service challenge was to forgive someone. Tonight I realized the person I needed to forgive was myself. 

Today was a good day. I got my 10 pictures of kids hung nicely on the wall by my very skilled brother in-law they are so good to me. 

We attended the ward Christmas Party. The Santa was carrying on a legacy. He was really good. He spent time with each child questioning and listening to them. I loved his kindness. 

 

Three generations on the clean-up crew. I love the multi-generational aspect of our ward. There was a beautiful spirit of friendship and love in the hour of clean-up tonight.

 

This is my family. We are big, we are strong, and we are active. We beat each other up and we love each other together. We are a family.
We were asked to sing the song Picture this Christmas for a spiritual Christmas Program in the Chapel for the ward christmas party. We practiced, and we brought song books. After a nice dinner we went to the chapel where we listened to fellow ward members reverently and beautifully sing songs. Our turn came and we filed to the stand and podium complete with microphone. All were there, almost, Livy came dashing up a few seconds behind the rest like normal. We began and all three little girls began jockeying for control of the microphone. I put it up, they yanked it down, they teetered and tottered on the small wooden stool lifting them up to the podium.
Reed, not to be left out, jumped in with elbows knees and maybe a hip wedge to get his front and center spot.
All the while we are singing about the silent night, the mary mother fair, the kind and gentle Jospeh as Greg is pulling Reed from the melee. I was just laughing. What can you do when you're in front of the whole ward wrestling and fighting and singing about peace and harmony. You just laugh! We kept singing and it was very real. How our family really is.
I had a tear rolling down my cheek when we were done. Part sad part happy. I love my family. We are a lot of people all trying to do what's right, but we battle with our mortal man and wanting to have things our way.

Every comment after the program and prayer was said were words of thanks and smiles saying
"We have all been there."
 "Thank you for making my Christmas!"
 "You obviously need more microphones."
 "You made my heart smile."
"Watching your family singing and laughing is what Christmas is all about!"
My dear performing friend said I watched you begin and the squabble and said to my husband this is bad, really bad, and he said no this is good this is what it should be.
Our kind friend battling terminal cancer said "I hope that's what heaven is like, or I don't want to go."

So tonight I laughed, and thus my family laughed. We were not beautifully reverent and touching, we were just us. We did sing in spurts between laughing and trying to dislodge tussles and not drop the baby. But we got the job done and touched hearts in the process. And as a mom that's what I'm always trying to do. So I forgave myself for not being picture perfect and for not being like everyone else. I realized I'm okay being me and with my bunch. We do a lot of good, we endure and work on the bad, and we keep living and working together because it's the best place to be.
Thank goodness there are so many different ways to accomplish perfection.
Merry Christmas.

12.21.16 santa claus is coming to town

Yes Christmas is coming. Good things are happening. Last night was the annual Christmas play. The kids did a great job. It's such a great way to spend time in December. Singing, dancing, making gifts- their school is blessed by some ambitious artistic moms and teachers who have great imaginations and volunteer a lot of time to make special memories for kids and families.

Realizing I was literally stressed out and not handling life well I began taking this wonderful flower potion.

On the hour or as often as I pass by it. Completely natural, no chemicals. Yet when I'm on it I laugh and smile

 at my children. Literally the brain fog I of negative thoughts are gone. So if life is getting you down start taking this stuff it's amazing!!!

My tall elf Liza singing about an elfie selfie. That's a song hard to get out of your brain. Merry Christmas to you today.

12.19.16 You're gonna miss this?!?!

Monday's are r & r days for me. I need the rest, rejuvenation, and lots of responsibility on things like laundry and dishes. I've given up on vacuuming. For my littles I think r & d are the right letters to characterize their Monday plans. Research what possibilities there are for entertainment. Research what new loot has been brought home and stashed by the big kids and above all destroy order, evidence, and tranquility I might dream of.

Today was no exception. I was wiped out from an emotional hangover from a very stressful weekend culminating with a confrontation with some men working with my son's. I was done today. Just bound by tiredness to my home or I may have slipped away to some unknown destination.

From my front door knob refusing to rotate open to utter chaos everywhere it was a draining day from the start.

I found 6 mountains of laundry waiting- that explained the missing sock mystery and why no one had socks this morning. I set about to tackle that chore and on the driers first minute of work it roared an ominous roar then smoked and died! I'm so glad I was in the room before flames ignited my cramped wash room. 

I had left the little girls upstairs peeling eggs for egg sandwiches- they are good at this. I knew I was risking them eating all the lunch before I got any but was intent on the laundry situation. 

While hanging laundry I heard splashing and noticed frequent clothes changes. I was trying to get the clothes up and situated before Bruce setup a howl professing his hunger pains. When I went upstairs past bowls of Christmas present cereal opened on the steps and remains of cinnamon roll gifts...I witnessed the crime scene. ( I had a picture here, I deleted it on accident.)

I found Afton in a full sink of water sitting next to an equally full sink which I found Livy baling an ice cream bucket of water out of to pour on herself.  Millie was poised leg in air to get into that  adjoining sink. 

 They were playing swimming! 

Afton was complete with messy diaper having a ball. It was one of those days. After cleanup and drying off and some more cinnamon rolls instead of eggs for lunch, I put a few to nap and took one myself. I think I'm rested enough to survive the rushed week. The song on the radio while I carted 4 baskets full of wet clothes to the laundromat to dry was ,"You're gonna miss this..." so I wrote it down to remember. The laundromat was heaven all those dryers it took an hour. Annan and Addie studied and colored. The pigs got loaded at home and we survived. Bruce is now laughing and is extremely cute when he is getting what he wants (read HELD). Tomorrow is another day hopefully with a lot less water although it's suppose to snow. But the trade off is it's warmer and so my front door is more operable. Good times not sure I will miss them or not. Merry Christmas. 

Selfies in-between messes. 

12.18.16 big helpers

Sometimes I'm really surprised by the pictures I find on my phone.

I heard this was happening but didn't really believe it until I was cleaning pictures off my phone. She was pretty proud when she saw the pictures too!  Lots of girls are hoping for dolls for Christmas, Afton got her's early. He's now more ready for play. She sure loves her brshhhh. As she calls him.
In other news Livy and Millie were very proud to tell me they had changed Afton's diaper all by themselves today too! All seemed clean and in order. I was informed it took half a box of wipes for that, but all's well that ends well. Those two are go getters and always up for a challenge. Best to you today.

12.15.16 A well Matched Pair

In the olden days great esteem was given to two horses who could work together. When a team overcame individual effort and instead focused on working in perfect synchronization it was a beautiful event. However few teams achieved this harmony and with the invent of the precise automobile we have lost that constant reminder of working together for the common good.
Lately my two powerhouse children, almost hands down my most determined kids, have started working together.
This is cause for rejoicing and jaw dropping awe. These two have been feisty since before I knew them. They have been frustrating and so challenging to wait on as the slowly grew-up. Yet a new development has occurred. Nothing is too hard for them or out of their reach. And I use that word nothing in complete understanding of it's all encompassing scope.

Snow has been falling in abundance lately. This happens a few times a year here. These two were the only ones dressed for the conditions without a mountain of homework to process. They worked together for several hours scraping and dumping snow. When they came home they were a tema. They had found their rhythm. Addie sees the way to get it done and directs Mark's efforts and attentions to the project. Viola! Task complete. I am so excited. I love as the kids grow into their spirits. When their bodies begin to catch up with the eternal nature of who they are. These two will achieve great things if they can continue to work together. For that I'm thankful because I've been feeling very overwhelmed and I've been hoping for an organized kid. She's here and she brought reinforcements!! We are blessed and life is good. And our tree is up although yet to be decorated. Merry Christmas. 

12.13.16 Days go by

A wise lady told me years ago "it is very important for kids to be part of a team while growing up. It gives identity and a sense of belonging." 

Anna played basketball however, she chose not to this year. This has proved to be a good decision as she watches her friends struggle through the season. Recently she has become part of a new team and just got her new uniform.

She was so excited! She has already competed and traveled with the FFA. She is beginning to gain an awareness of who she is and how her unique life choices and situation set her apart from the group. Yet she's also finding the group she wants to be with too. 

She's a third generation FFA member. We are all pretty excited for her.

Livy loves having older siblings with cool stuff! And even better for her they are mostly gone and leave their cool stuff unguarded. Yay for the little girls! She's growing too though and slowly getting more respectful of their stuff. All the little girls are so cute it's hard to get too mad at them.

Reed is beginning to take on more chores here. Obviously he is more interested in playing than washing but some dishes did get clean in the process. 

When we remodeled our kitchen 10 years ago I told the builder I wanted it to last 10 years. Well it did almost to the day. We are in desperate need of some renovation. Now to find someone to do the work I want done. Oh well owning a house that is full of people means continual maintenance.

 The girls enjoying time with Greg at the shop. They love to be with their dad. They are the first to volunteer to go get water for the cows with him here at home. Reed reports the best naps are taken in the water truck. 

 

And Afton my climbing girl. She loves this orange shirt and loves to be up high. If we get a tree up I think she is going to have a ball redecorating it every day. I keep trying to remember this will pass and I will miss all the energy of these little monkeys. And to not get too mad or stressed that goals and deadlines for personal family stuff are mere cobweb constructed finish lines. Not brick wall strong or defined just ideas. Merry Christmas. 

12.12.16 Educational Progress

This year has offered some new educational opportunities. A few years ago I was scared at each change of teacher, school, and or curriculum but I have learned change is good and often benefits our family and helps resolve concerns or problems I'm worried about. This year at the Middle School they offered a robotics class. Harold loves the building, programming, and winning competitions so this was very exciting for him. I of course just desperately want my kids to have opportunities that stretch their minds and the boundaries of rural living so I was very excited too. 

The teacher asked for parent volunteers to come and monitor the students one morning while he had a teacher meeting. I signed up. After Harold turned the paper in he asked the teacher if I could bring the kids. The teacher said sure, how many? Harold replied, well 10. The teacher hesitated.... We will try to find other parents. As the day approached no other parents were available and so I worked it out and went in to observe with just Bruce. It was so cool. My kids love legos and this was a motivating project. The students built models of animals and real life structures think milking table where cows stood on a rotating disc to be milked and milk tanks or manure tanks rolled off depending on where the disc was rotated to by the robot. 

There were many aspects to this class. Research and reporting on an animal human problem. and building the structures, programming the robot. These two girls pictured along with another young man primarily worked on the research and report. Harold and a friend did the robot side. All crossing over and trying their hand and brains at the other's role too. 

The competition was interesting. Both to see who was there- so many friends and associates that Greg and I went to church and high school with and to see the excitement in the room. I'm hopeful this program stays around as it combines John's two loves legos and robots into one cool competition.
 Rural America is still locked into the locker room mindset that rural kids are good for their brawn not necessarily their brains.

The little girls enjoyed trying out the desks while we waited. They love getting to see where the big kids go all day. They also liked the fish found in the science classroom. One more experience to toss in the back pack of this school year's education. Best to you today.

12.2.16 Some holiday cheer

An ambitious sister in-law shared her aspiration of creating some holiday cards for FHE. I love to do art projects with my kiddos! I spent some time on my favorite art site artprojectsforkids.org  printed instructions and we gathered pencils, sharpies, crayons and paint and had a great time. 

The biggest ailment of the winter season is loneliness and the near neighbor depression. So many people are alone. Admittedly I can hardly fathom that condition it is easy to share some love, thoughts, and prayers. We had a good time taking cards to friends and teachers. The little girls were adamant that they hand deliver their cards. Millie and Afton to their church teacher "grandpa" Johnson. And Livy to her friend "Randy."

My dad is and grandfather was a great example of handing out cards. A birthday was not complete without a card or so my grandfather felt. My dad sends gracious inspiring cards. And my lovely grandmother still sends a Christmas card- always a delightful treat for the kiddos to open a piece of mail. The other grandmother painted pictures and printed them into cards. Her artistic creations of love and friendship enable us to share her heart and eye for beauty for years to come.

Yes in our day of instant communication a snail mail card is a lovely little listing of friendship and concern. Often comforting, sometimes comical they are a high spot of any day. Now to find envelopes and get them mailed before I forget. Merry Christmas to you this day.

12.1.16 Christmas Conundrum and Resolution

Christmas season is upon us. The kiddos are excited and expectant. I am anxious and doggedly working through the worries of letting them down and getting it all put together.

Livy and Liza modeling ornaments Liza and Anna made at mutual. 

Foremost in my mind are these images of the actuality of our life. Not the funny commercials showing smiling children posed enjoying toys that will only occupy space in my home and my children's attention for maybe minutes. 

 My clever sister posted pictures about her daughter making soup. Pretend play about a real often seen event mom or dad really does using real tools. Since that observation and her excited report that the making soup game occupied her curious daughter for many minutes I started or noticed again that real experiences, with  tools, are more inviting than the plastic substitutes.

Cooking while the bigger girls and I cooked dinner.

Picking up corn they had shelled on the bathroom rug. Using tweezers and a bowl. Loved it.

Replacing bullets in their plastic holder. Did this at least three times. Perfect size and activity for little fingers. 

Carrying pumpkins or any commodity if the other kids are doing it the littles insist on participating. They are especially cute when we move wood carrying their small logs but they work as long as the big kids and get mad if pushed aside. 

So Christmas? Presents? It's so hard to put the gift of love, inclusion, self-esteem, and family in a box waiting under a tree. I'm so grateful for the grandparents who help our family have things under the tree because left to my own devices it would be lack-luster. We do however, spend almost every December day doing some Christmas preparation activity. Our month is full and we are enjoying the phenomenon of the Christmas season in many hours of service, singing, pondering, and learning about the birth of the Savior of the World. While eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate! 

I loved this article and suggest it to all moms.

MUST READ ARTICLE

 I whole-heartedly agree that the traditions you set in the beginning of family life will be what guides the days of the business as they grow and mature. We still string popcorn and make paper chains for our tree because it doesn't break and is an activity we can do together. We have gained more friends and people who touch our lives. Thus our gift list expands each year. Yet, the kids ability to prepare the treats is also increasing shifting my job from head baker to scheduler and shopper.

 My job is changing from doing it all to directing them to recipes, buying the groceries and driving the car. And with our oldest being of age to drive that may be changing soon too. I'm thankful we still have bright eyed excited little people at our house. I'm going to try very hard this year to take time and indulge their expectation of Christmas things. From detouring to the store with the large electric train display, to a tree with lights before we reach double digits in December days, to watching Christmas movies, and enjoying candy canes I'm going to enjoy loving them this year. Best to you.