2.20.14 Discernment

From Elder Nelsons 2013 General Conference Talk Decisions for Eternity

Your Heavenly Father has known you for a very long time. You, as His son or daughter, were chosen by Him to come to earth at this precise time, to be a leader in His great work on earth.¹⁹ You were chosen not for your bodily characteristics but for your spiritual attributes, such as bravery, courage, integrity of heart, a thirst for truth, a hunger for wisdom, and a desire to serve others.

These last ten days have been pretty rough for me personally. I woke up at 3 a.m. Friday with a lot of discomfort and knew I needed some meds for a UTI. I hadn't drank much the day before because I was sewing for Anna, and the day before I was cooking for Mark's birthday. I wasn't taking care of me. As I pondered and evaluated life for the 5 hours before the clinic opened I realized I needed to be doing a little more for me. Drinking some water each day, eating a regular warm meal more than just at dinner time. Fitting exercise in, working in some personal scripture study, and maybe even some things I enjoy like a walk outside. The meds couldn't work fast enough and it was a slow Friday, finished in frustration.

Saturday I had a long standing appointment with my hairdresser to face the inevitable, dying my hair from gray back to brown. I'm not all gray but peppering more than I am comfortable while carrying small babies of my own in my arms. As a grandma I will try to accept my age but right now mid-thirty--although I do round up to 40 as my dad reminded me recently-- I would prefer to look brownhaired. As I was easing into my mid-thirty panic my hairdresser commented how good Greg looks. I admitted that yes he is a handsome man and then realized I needed to be working a lot harder at being the trophy wife he deserves.

Now I must digress and explain I have never wanted to be a trophy wife. I would be a trophy person but not the primped and perfect woman on her big mans' arm!! 1) I don't know all those skills of hair accessories and makeup brushes, nor do I own spankx, and 2) I want to be known for my character not my physical score! I had long arguments about this with various roommates in college. Now I do love gaining awards or certificates of achievement but that's earned from completing difficult requirements not just because someone else judges you superior.

That said I headed to do some shopping. Things don't fit the same after 9 children and LOTS of cooking! It's a sad fact I've been ignoring. So to Maurices I headed and after 30 minutes of looking and 45+ minutes in the dressing room I had a few things. It was mortifying to look in that mirror, we have no full length mirrors in our house, but it gave me a good idea of which direction to head in future shopping online.

Still after the new do and the new clothes I felt so crummy about what I had become physically. Never mind that I take care of 9 active kids each day. I have grown 9 babies from conception to food. I manage our business from home, do service, love my husband and many other things.  Those were washed away in the sadness of not being the 4 sizes smaller I wish I was. Well that evening and next day were stake conference. Which I usually love. Not this time I was so ashamed of what I had seen in the mirror, I didn't want to talk to anyone. It was not a good place to be mentally. So I didn't talk to many people, I kept my eyes down and hugged my baby. They are nice accessories!!

But after more soul searching and counseling with Greg and my mom. I realized that this is not me. I am not self-centered and I am not just being lazy. I am doing what matters most each day and while I may need to reorganize my plans I have to keep my eye on my goal. That is to be a positive influence on my family and in my interactions with others. I cannot do that if I am focused just on my physical imperfections.

Ready for a rare date with my most supportive and encouraging husband. The look of uncertainty is pretty obvious in my eyes. I had a great time that night. It is so fun to visit with peers and just relax.

And with that I did exercise 4 times last week. I start there then move on to curbing the diet stuff. I find one follows the other.

On Wednesday I had two moles removed. It was not fun, but probably necessary. Which rendered my face and back very tender. Thursday was the cub scout cake auction more later on that, and Friday I slid down 8 stairs in my house.

A note on that. Friday I felt good! We got so much done it was a great day of cleaning, sorting, organizing and working together. Then that night in my stubbornness and tiredness I slipped on stair 2 with Millie in my arms and hit my hip hard and flew back and knocked the wind out of my lungs and bumped my head down the other 6 stairs till we got to the bottom and Millie rolled down my body onto the landing. I am still really sore from that. And I realize that my size is not an issue. Being able to function and do all my jobs is a blessing!!! I am super grateful to not have a broken hip, neck, back, leg, arm, or baby. I am thankful this will be a memory-hopefully by the weekend- and I am thankful for the discernment. I am thankful that through prayer and listening to the Spirit I can see and feel clearly of my worth and what I am doing with my life.

2.15.14 A Change from Normal

Our traditional Valentine's Celebration includes candles, chicken cordon bleu and apple pie. This year was no different. We added more candles and it was a pretty experience.

The girls love the ambiance and the boys are mesmerized by the flames everywhere. After they started putting their hands over the flames to see how warm they were we turned the lights back on and finished the dinner. Things got rowdy from there and we delayed pie until Saturday morning.

As is with all calories consumed here we try to keep an even score between work done and calories consumed. So after our turn cleaning the church we played some basketball.

Greg and Jay played one on one first. Jay didn't realize his "old" brother was so capable! Greg is a great defender and when in practice a great player. He hasn't played fro years because we haven't felt comfortable taking the risk of him turning an ankle. He is our main man in the bringing the bacon home department... but with the kids HUGE amount of interest in playing basketball, that may- read hopefully- change in the near future. Neither brother scored. Greg was a lot for Jay to handle. And even if you don't score if you keep your opponent from scoring the score is even. :)

After a few minutes play the kids joined in. They had a great time. As I told an onlooker not many people have a basketball team at their house!

A tip off to see who could get it. Grandma was a good ref!

2.14.14 Growing Love

While I love sewing, yesterday put that to the test. A local church hosted a Daddy-Daughter Dance "to help our daughters learn how they should be treated on a date." As Greg and I both love to dance, and I loved dancing with my dad when I was a teenager, and with Greg now, we thought it would be a fun expereince.

 However, one small hangover from being a teenager was my thought that to attend a dance you need a new dress. This was a challenge and an opportunity. It is also how I learned to sew. I would stay up late on Friday night and work on it some on the Saturday prior to the dance, that evening. I would make a dress every other week or so. I loved the bargain fabric at Joann's and my mom had quite a stash that she shared. I didn't follow the exact rules of dress making, I have learned a lot from my very talented Mother-In-Law, and sisters-in-law. And continue to find a lot of joy engaging my right brain in some strenuous exercises.

With that said, I haven't sewn much since my boys broke my trusty Bernina sewing machine last summer. The tumble from the table to the tile floor twisted the cast iron main frame. In November I had saved enough money to buy a manual viking. I have tentatively used it on easy things like fleece blankets and pajamas, but a dress was a new challenge. Putting in the invisible zipper, after having to re-fit the dress when I finally got Anna back home, made me SUPER happy with the purchase. It took one try, one seam on each side and voila nice zipper. My Cinderellas went out to the ball and this tired Fairy Mamma slumped in a chair.
Phew! It takes a lot more to dress and style two people than just one. Note the extra kids in all the pictures. They flit, they fly, they flop into any opportunity to be seen!

 

Aliza is wearing the blue dress I made for Anna to portray the fairy Godmother at the Mother's Tea last spring. Aliza loves princess dresses and was so thankful to have the opportunity to wear it some more. She is a tall girl. 

Before they left they had to eat dinner. It was a bit crazy to say the least. Inadvertently, Millie was left downstairs. While I was finishing up some hair stuff I heard her climbing the stairs. There are a lot of stairs in our house, but she was determined to join the crowd! (Which has been her mantra since way back when!) For the last 4 steps, Mark held out a tempting bottle of pears, her favorite, and she triumphantly made the last of  her trek. Aren't we such good trainers? The kids make sure and leave all kinds of interesting, stimulating, and not necessarily baby safe toys littered around the house so she is learning all about the world around her. (note the pencil she brought with her).

 

The dance was really fun. They had a good time dancing with Greg and one other dad and their friends. Aliza even won a dance off contest! They came home radiant and rosy cheeked with a tired dad. My heart melts watching him father these daughters. He is such a protector and man that I fell in love with at a dance not so long ago.

Finally, for our love day celebration the kids were elated to receive balloons and flowers from mom and dad- as Aliza said "It shows mom and dad love us a lot that they gave us presents!" These flowers and balloons rounded out a very sugar filled day of valentine's celebration and school. However, they were second offerings after our kind Papa brought them hearts of chocolate.

Happy Valentine's Day.

2.13.14 Eyes to See

Through the ‘patient eye of love,’ mothers develop a special knowledge of their children—a knowledge that gives them unique insight into what the truly ‘best practices’ for each child should be” (Jenet Jacob Erickson, “Love, Not Perfection, Root of Good Mothering,” Deseret News, May 12, 2013, G3) From D. Todd Christoferson Oct 2013 The Moral Force of Women

For Mark's birthday he requested cinnamon twists for the treat to share with his class in celebration. His classmates were excited to taste and were delighted with the experience. I was treated to listening to each one of their observations about Mark. His teacher has each child share this sentence " I like (birthday kid) because..." It was so heartwarming to hear what his classmates observed and appreciated about Mark. Many said his smile, or that he was nice, or that he was happy but the ones that really stuck out to me was that he:

"Stands up for kids that are getting picked on."
 "He stops bullies."
"He is always polite."
"He is always, always, always doing what's right!"
"He tries hard and always does his best."

As the Mom I don't see many of those things. I'm focused on the kid who is day dreaming, stubbornly pursuing his own agenda or just pushing my limits. I have to admit as I watched each of my children's classrooms, how the students behaved and how the teachers dealt with lots of bodies I realized I need to double down my efforts at home to make it a happy, replenishing place. A place where they can re-charge and be ready to go back into battle where they will make good choices, help others, learn new and challenging skills and ideas. I need to repent of having not so patient eyes and be more concerned with the whole picture not just today.

I would have said I like Mark because he is strong. He knows what he wants and NOTHING stops him from that thing. He lives with purpose and he is conscientious about how his toys are organized when playing, staying in the lines when coloring, how his clothes look. Mark is also very strong in his understanding of right and wrong and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I imagine Peter the apostle was much like Mark. A defender of the right! I'm thankful for this challenging person (he's a mini-adult who has been so frustrated not being big and capable, faster. I'm the small adult trying to contain, channel and train this big person in a small body). He has stretched my limits and made me grow. He is a blessing to have in my home.

When we got home some of the first words I heard were "Mom the pigs are coming around the corner...!!" Those are never good words. Sot he next hour was spent herding pigs. They are smart, agile, and with both being out very curious. If one pig remains in the pig then the other is much more concerned with getting back in with it's pen-mate, if they are both out it is fun and comfortable to root-up my lawn see the chickens, stroll the lane and whatever else looks appealing. When I went out to help I found this

 

Yep that soup is treacherous. Harold is balanced very delicately on the thing rim of the hog trough. I was so worried he would land full body in the slop- which is beyond stinky! He did not and we managed to get the pigs in thanks to Uncle Jay and some barrier creation.

We then went on to dinner, mutual, and on to Valentine's.

The same ones every year. A dum-dum sucker with a construction paper cape saying 'You're Super.'  Aliza makes flower petals with the sucker pushed through the middle.

And because I think she is adorable Millie playing with the paper. I love round baby faces! Happy Valentines Day!
Did you know 73% flowers bought on Valentine's Day are by women.Dr. Laura said if you want an occasion to be a certain way then make it happen, don't be mad someone didn't read your mind.

Motherhood IS a Career

ca·reer

kəˈri(ə)r/

noun

1. 1.

   an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.

   synonyms:

   profession, occupation, job, vocation, calling, employment, line, line of work, walk of life, métier More

verb

1. 1.

   move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way in a specified direction.

   "the car careered across the road and went through a hedge"
2. From Google
3. 
   

I think motherhood is more a verb. Next week is spirit week at the kids school. Aliza told her friends she wanted to be a mom. They told her that wasn't a career. When we got home I looked it up on google and yes it is a career. So question how does one dress-up as a mom? I am thinking about hanging twenty signs on her, maybe as necklaces naming various occupations that a mom does. 

 I love this video from Elder Holland especially the family prayer scene. It's very real!

We discussed one of the myths of motherhood on Sunday. 

"Mom's don't need education. it's a waste to not use your degree and just be a mom." Was the challenge I posed, one similar to the observation my graduate professor shared with me while in graduate school- I shouldn't be wasting my time training you as a researcher, you're not going to use it just being a mom...-

I asked my kids what they thought of this.

 

John first spoke up "That's dumb, moms need to be smart to teach their children."

  

Aliza " What if her husband is rancher and needs help with the books, then she can teach him, or do them."

My heart burst with pride for my wise children. I told them of Brigham Young's statement that if given a choice he would educate the mothers because they teach the children.

My degrees are not on my walls, they are not something I talk about much in daily conversation. They are part of my past, part of my foundation, part of my formative years. They are part of how I parent and interact with others. They helped prepare me for my career.  How thankful I am to be irreplaceable, not subject to outsourcing, and in high demand. 

And if you haven't seen it on facebook this post Wormwood style from a much more humble and discerning woman was very poignant thinking piece I read tonight The Unappreciated Mom

Along those lines, be sure the Mother starts to value productivity above everything else.  Have her wake up early and work non-stop until bedtime.  If the husband relaxes in the evening with an hour of computer gaming, be sure the wife notices the pile of unfolded laundry or un-swept floors.  Do not let her grab a book and relax alongside her husband.  Diligence, often one of the Enemy’s virtues, when overdone can be used to our advantage as well.  Convince her that as long as there is a shred of work to be done (and there always is), no one should be resting.  Then, as she folds and sweeps and he sits, you can introduce the sweet bitterness of resentment.

And about mothering

  Instead, draw attention to how much they take from her.  Let them take and take and take…  And need and need and need, until the Mother feels totally spent.  Let them start crying at the same time for the most irrational of reasons.  Let the noise bother her.  Let their bad behavior surprise her.  Do your best to make the day-to-day monotony of diaper changes, meals, and baths seem simultaneously overwhelming and beneath her.  Let her think of all the better, more important things she could be doing with her life, if only she didn’t have the children.Don’t let her think about the future responsible, faithful adults she is raising.  Society changers, friends, workers, husbands or wives…  Don’t let her think of them as life-long companions who will love her, converse with her, and care for her in her old age.  Oh, and definitely don’t let her think about the grandchildren she might be able to see in their little grubby faces if she looked hard enough now.  No, no, no…  Thinking ahead to when her work bears fruit, as the Enemy calls it, is always a bad idea.  Keep words like ‘heritage’ or ‘legacy’ far away from the runny noses and jelly stains of the day to day.

After a very long day in the trenches trying to be productive. Thank goodness for refocusing and tomorrow. 

2.10.14 The Snow Miracle

This weekend we got over 10 inches of snow!! It is a Miracle. We appreciate the opportunity to serve with our neighbors and friends of different faiths. It has been so awesome to share the blessing of having our faith strengthened. This weekend was a game changer for the farm and economic outlook for the West Coast. How thankful I am to be part of this very HUGE miracle that occurred as a result of faith, prayers, and fasting of many faithful people of many denominations. It is beautiful to share in petitioning our God for Divine intervention on our behalf.

A few years ago, while I was talking to Greg he mentioned a little widow lady cleaning the sidewalks of snow around the Catholic Church.  From that small moment he has taken the responsibility to keep the Catholic Parish sidewalks free of snow. Now thanks to Uncle Don Saunders of pushnboot.com we are much more efficient and able to cover the Christian Church, Mormon church, and Methodist Church, and some random neighbors. The boys and Greg spent well over 10 hours moving snow this weekend.

While the boys were gone shoveling, the girls and I got busy working on a service project making fleece blankets for teenage foster kids. Unfortunately, I did not get pictures of the girls sewing and cutting them but rather of the boys working on their blanket. We did 5 in all, with the possibility of 3 more. Shopping Joann's is always a riot with all 9 kids.

 We also remembered Alivia's 2 birthday. Actually, Addie remembered and was the first to give her a gift. Addie selected a book from our shelves found all the wrapping supplies and wrapped her a present that she opened first thing in the morning. Livy was delighted and looked through the book throughout the day.

 When the boys and I got home the second time from shoveling town - it snowed all day long! We quickly made a delicious chocolate cake. With chocolate cream frosting. Yum! We sang and she blew out her candles. I'm sure our small children think we are crazy lighting perfectly good food on fire. 

On Sunday we quickly decided to host a birthday party for Mark and Livy with the families. So we quickly cooked and cooked- it was the first time I didn't have enough oven space and had to use grandma Sue's too. 3 pans of homemade hamburger buns, 3 plates of cinnamon rolls, two cakes, two pans of roasted potatoes, and hamburgers was more than we could get done in an hour and a half. Mark was delighted and we had a good time with our aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.

  

Two views of our house after all the snow. The snow slipping off the roof curling under just waiting for some victim to cover or bury in cold wet snow was pretty awesome. It did not get anybody because Harold kept slamming  doors to get the snow to drop. It was pretty impressive to watch it thump down.

  

We are reading Little Britches by Ralph Moody as a family. If you haven't read these and like farm stories at all I encourage you to check them out from the library. They are wholesome, wise, funny, entertaining and great stories similar to Little House on the Prairie. 

Best to you all.