6.10.21 Sunday Elder

This past Sunday I got word that Harold could be confirmed an Elder in our church. I hurriedly called my parents and they made plans to head over. We gathered after church for the ordination. The group! 

The men that have taught, loved, and  encouraged Harold to grow. 

Life passes quickly we are in the fast forward mode right now. This new office gives Harold the opportunity to lay his hands on their heads for blessings from God. It allows him to further his relationship serving others and knowing God's words. He will grow into it, his natural love for others and noticing of those on the sidelines will combine to make him a powerful disciple of Christ. 

What I found Sunday morning. Bruce has had a hard time going to bed lately. He misses Mark. So they came up with a solution Bruce can sleep on the floor by Mark. Life is about finding solutions to problems. Life is about loving each other. I'm thankful in this group we have created they love and the work to solve the problems that come. We are blessed to be together. 
 

6.9.21 Lotsa talent

When people heard about our large family in the hospital we got a lot of comments. From you must be so talented/busy/stretched to you must be so good at creating so many talents. I shrugged this is just what we do. The girls had their final art class and completed their free paint pictures of their own design. Art was a great outlet and stretch to learn new skills and to socialize with other aspiring artists. 

Mark at his first appointment getting his tapes changed at the infusion center. HOw thankful we have become for people who dedicate their lives to caring, helping, and healing others. I have said many times thank you for taking so many tests and studying for so many years so you could help my son! I truly mean this. 

On morning I found these treasures on the window ledge. Birds eggs and tadpoles. My budding naturalist had observed these in the wild and brought them home to observe. I remember well the stories of George Washington Carver, Teddy Roosevelt, and Thomas Edison. I'm trying to be patient and encourage all learning. Thankfully Livy put a larger dish on the tadpole container. I told her I didn't want to find frogs hopping around my kitchen one morning!

Back home back to work, this time side dressing the corn. 

A picture of almost finished! It is good to be home to be working and to be healing. The earth is glorious! 

 And so life goes on. There has been time for rest, time for correction, time for growing. Summer is all about growing and resting. There's so many lessons inherent to farming. You end up where you look, keep your eye on where you are going. The world is beautiful and full of diversity. Quiet is good for thinking. Work makes for confidence. You are and have to be tougher and more careful than may be natural. I am blessed. 

6.8.21 REAL

 In an effort to build our family record it is easy to erase and not discuss the hard. The incorrect and the just plain hard part of building a family and marriage is easy to sweep under the rug. Blogging helps me escape the negativity train that runs around and around in my head. It helps me see we are not failing, we are not miserable, and we do do somethings. Different from others but our own life. So many pictures are such short snapshots of nice, or happiness. Truly a few minutes or even seconds later the world falls apart and another crisis or problem is needing to be met head on. So much of large family life is correction, discipline, making sure correct teaching is happening. I get weary. I get mouthy. I swear. I defend, I teach and I battle. With all of them! That is not meek and mild and probably not the best way to be a follower of Christ. It is unconditional. 

As the mom it is my job to teach and teach lest problems move out of our home and into the hands of others who love less yet must meet out justice. As the wife my responsibility is to keep the group moving. To keep track, to find a way, and to love and endure. Life 20 years into this job is very different from what I envisioned. I am much harder and wimpier than my 20 year old self ever dreamed. People ask what do you do for yourself, what are your dreams? I stare at them blankly trying to formulate a kind response. My head whirs with sassy answers that are not correct. I have pondered this a lot in my 40's who have I become? The intense farming season answer is "Not a very nice person." There is always so much. Last year I thought was the hardest of my life, but this year has moved that goal post farther. 

So that is my REAL take. I report and share the pictures of big moments. There are weeks where there is nothing noteworthy to share and a whole lot I hope no one hears. There are many nights I just fall asleep so frustrated and discouraged. I don't like having to constantly be policing and correcting. I could take the easier course and ignore the problems I see, but I would be derelict in my duties and lacking in the true love I have for those in my home. So from the song " fresh courage take." I repent, I stay, I work to be loyal. My grandmother told me before I got married, when I was very humbled by the great heritage of my husband's family, our family is loyal. My ancestors stayed married through thick thin. That is pretty huge, after being married for a while it's a really big accomplishment. So that's the real deal life is beautiful 10-20% of the time, there is about the same really really hard or ugly, the rest is just plugging on. 

6.8.21 Summer time

Since Merle-Jack has turned 1 he has definitely preferred his dad. He cries most when dad leaves him. 

Mark wanted pictures. Reed has grown so much taking over so many responsibilities on the farm. He notices, is careful and is tired with so much on his plate. This is how men are made. 

Millie has loved so much time to read and read. She is a bookworm! There are 40 books in this series and she has read about 35 of them. Summer is the best time or another great time to read lots of books. 

Coloring is another fun passtime. One of Mark's hospital gift bags had markers. The kids had a great time coloring. 

Of course no coloring experience is complete until someone colors themselves as well. Lia is an artist and a cute two year old. 

 Normal is so good and tiring. It has been an adjustment to get back ok with all the noise, activity/chaos, and the requirements of being hte boss of this large group. We just keep chipping away at it and the days go by. 

6.7.21 Graduation

There are some fun traditions that go along with graduation in our town. One is the last day the teachers dress up like a senior. Harold's line coach for football chose to dress like him. I love the red hair addition. The teacher did a great impersonation. 

Harold also was granted an auto club scholarship and his medals for the recent auto skills competition. He was also awarded the largest FFA scholarship this year, and an alumni scholarship. 

This was a long anticipated moment and yet it came in bittersweet. Bitter that I wasn't more in tune with the day and sweet that it happened anyway and as is the case so many kind thoughtful moms caught the moment and share with me. We literally got into town 15 minutes before graduation. We endured the very bright sun and mild heat. It was a nice experience. 

Harold wore the FFA sash, the state FFA degree cord, and his two Auto skills USA medals. Second place in automotive diagnostics and 4th place for diesel mechanics.

Grandma and Anna watched track side, we sat in the stands. The graduates paraded all around for all to see. 

After a lot of speeches and recognition the degrees were handed out and he was complete! After many years of worry, nagging, helping, correcting, teaching, and watching another child has passed the stage of public education. We were thankful to have Anna present to celebrate and show us life continues in great ways even after high school. Harold has loved his college experience spurred on by Anna also having a college experience. 

The part of school that mattered most to Harold the social part. Football allowed him access, finally to be part of the group. To literally be on the team with his classmates. It totally changed his high school career to have that fellowship with guys like these. Harold volunteered to speak about the retiring and or leaving teachers from the school. He spoke with the ASB president, pictured here in the black and white flower lei Vincente Ortega. Harold has always loved to be in front of a crowd. They did well. 

So much is learned in high school. It's a blossoming and a refining. A trial and error and a chance to experience success. I'm thankful Harold had a great journey. His next step is his mission, we are waiting patiently for that announcement to come. He's off on his journey soon he will be off and away. 
 

6.5.21 passing time

One of the things we learned in the hospital was the need to have something meaningful to do. At first a movie here and there, catching up on current events, talking with people on the phone was enough. Yet, as the days wore on and Mark got more confined to the bed we realized he needed something to do. One day I had an idea about him learning to shape balloon animals. A dear friend had done this for a primary activity day, she was my first phone call. She graciously allowed us to use her tools and supplies. Mark hit YouTube and learned to fashion a dog and flower. 

It was so good to see genuine smiles on Mark and even better to share some happiness with others. 

He had to spend precise amounts of time dangling his leg over the edge of the bed. Thus the balloon twisting was a nice diversion. This flower went to his sweet nurse. She was surprised. The dog went to a fellow patient a five year old girl who may have been in the PICU for brain tumors. 

At home smoothered in bodies, hugs, and closeness. After feeling like they didn't miss me at all, the little kids would not talk to me on the phone, I came home to find they did in fact need me still. Alia had fallen over the edge of our stairs about a 7-9 foot drop/ She would not walk without crying for about 18 hours. To say I was worried was an understatement. I rushed home the next morning to assess the situation and to take her to the chiropractor. It was so nice to just be with my family for a while. 

Cousin Michael sent a care package. Farm magazines and papers, chips, and jerky. This treat made Mark's days a little brighter. 

Bathing in the hospital is something completely different than home. Pre-op you have to use special wipes. The doctor was generous saying Mark could bathe after several days of PICU life it was nonetheless a nice return to normal, sort of. 

At home Man learning to balance while dad does push-ups. I went back and forth a lot in the last week. Boise one day home one day.

Mark getting up for the first time all the way vertical post surgery. The quilt in the background was my project to pass the time after I finished the sampler. 

One of my trips home required time spent cultivating the young corn. I took pictures so Mark could keep abreast of what was going on at home. 

Trying to keep the hospital stay fresh we had bakery treats one morning. I found Granny c's bakery in Boise. The owner is the son of my grade school cook. They weren't as good as I remember her's but a nice treat. The rasberry cream cheese roll was so decadent. 

On removal day we found the mighty doppler that had been the contant noise in Mark's room since surgery was so tiny. That white string is all that was in his leg listening for the flow of blood and the workign of the valves. There were definite pattern differences from when he laid down completely to sitting upright in bed, to dangling the leg. Our bodies are amazing and the more we look or observe them the more marvelous they become. 

Getting ready to help Mark with his first water bath since he went to the hospital. His brothers were shocked at all the help I still give him. As Mark said this is nothing compared to where I have been. So true, in this journey he has incrementally gone from independence to total reliance on others then back to mostly independent. Life is all about perspective. 

We were able to leave the hospital 4 days earlier than we anticipated. We got to our hometown just in time for his brother's graduation. I sent MArk home with his sister Aliza and dad and I went to graduation. I was worried about Mark. I texted and got the answer all was fine why was I worried? Yet when I got home the first words were Mark is bleeding!! 

He had hopped and scooted around the house. The added pressure of resting his knee on the scooter was too much for his barely knit together skin and the incision site split. The frist five days home were nerve wracking hoping we were doing all his care correctly and that he would in fact heal. 

Obviously a big part of his healing is the love and attention of his siblings. They of course were just delighted to have him home. 

Livy with her first balloon animal. She is quite creative and able. 

 And just cuz. Our post graduation all under one roof Sunday nap. We are blessed and so loved. A week has passed and we are all still just soaking up being together. I am so thankful for all these bodies that share our space. It has been crazy there's been lots of worry and frustration trying to stay clean, stay dry, stay on time with medicines- even keeping track of the medicine, but all in all the power of love and drive to be together motivates this process to keep moving on. 

6.1.21 A journey

It's interesting how many moments just happen without really thinking then looking back I'm either really thankful or wistful that I had held that moment a little longer. I took these pictures one day before the teeth were gone. Just a cute little shot. He's a really adorable guy. 

I had been documenting this wound. Keeping an eye on it and waiting. It started to smell and the drainage was not a good sign. The wound was rotting. Thus we went to the doctor and were informed we had to get surgery soon. So the next day we were scheduled for would cleaning and a wound vac. 

At home the girls were busy being kids. They are quite good at fashioning dresses out of cloth and clothespins. 

My birthday morning while I was talking to the girls about watching out for Merle he fell down the front stairs and removed all those beautiful teeth all 5. Gone. He was a bloody mess, I was a panicked mess. Greg happened to come home he drove us to Ontario to see the dentist. He took one look and said sorry they are gone nothing to be done. With a heavy heart we drove home. My mom was there with lunch. I was almost too sick too eat. Mark could not eat as he had surgery in a few hours. Standing on the brink of that abyss called hospital stay I was so worried and this complication of injured baby did nothing to help that worry. I am so thankful for Aliza and Addie holding down the fort. I'm so thankful that my mom and grandma showed up to be the adults for a few hours so I could get myself together while I held my baby. 

Waking up. He had a total of three wound cleanouts this is the first one. 

Back home checking on the baby. My happy place back in my blue chair with my baby asleep in my arms. All was better than expected. 

Wound vac. Didn't have to look. I was relieved, no pain just tubes. 

Mark spent a lot of time working on school and some time facetiming his siblings. The highlight of his stay were calls from home. 

Sponge sucking out infections. 

The actual wound in the operating room. 

A well deserved pizza after waiting for more than 24 hours to eat. He ate all but those two slices. Chicago connection pizza, was good, expensive but a great end to a fast. 

Another night we ordered cookies. Big city life has lots of options. These cookies made me sick as I was so nervous about life going on. We met the plastic surgeon doctor before we ordered these. He outlined his procedure and the timeline for the hospital stay. I was sick two more weeks. 

Mark getting ready fort he big one. projected to be 6 hours it lasted 8. 

I found after a very trying day watching Mark that I needed something for my hands to do. Thus cross stitch came out. It's small and it's so satisfying to see letters completed. Anything to make the time pass. 

Mark after 9 hours. The blanket was to warm him up. He took a while to wake up and had a whole new collection of tubes and wires. 

It was such a relief to have Greg show up. Mark really enjoyed having his dad there as well. 

Mark still waking up in the PICU. The nurses were superb and always with us, seriously about every half hour or more one or two of them was in the room checking Mark. This time was hard for him in that he couldn't move the leg and was hooked up to a myriad of monitors and had many tubes and wires on his chest arms and leg. He was a trooper and did as instructed. The biggest challenge was the bear hugger or heating blanket. The doctor wanted him to sweat so his blood vessels would stay as open as possible. This artificial heat made sleeping nearly impossible. At this point I Was at the Ronald McDonald house and was sleeping peacefully though not long spurts. 

Step one cooling the room just keeping the leg warm. 

First look, zero form on top it's a yellow iodine soaked pad that helps with healing. You can see the drain tubes that relieved pressure from the leg. 

His personal nurse Justin was so good. Greg giving Mark a heparin shot. 

Braving looking at the wound. The white is the skin. 

Completed sampler. 

Getting his hair washed in bed. No water just a chemical reaction but his hair was wet when done.  It smelled plastic-icky. 

Moving from bed the first time took three people all watching and lifting in additon to MArk. 

Dinner at 11p.m. A lovely frozen dinner enjoyed alone at the Ronald McDonald house. How I missed company but enjoyed just being able to rest. 

After Mark had not slept enough in a few days he divulged his worry about moving the leg. I called the nurse and she brought a team and we got some supports to help the problem. The engineered a place to rest his foot. Secured his leg in pillows. Taped wires, added blankets for support, and cooled the room. I sang to him and he slept 9 hours. 

And another treat a visit from Anna. Her arrival became our countdown. She was coming a week before he was suppose to get out. We relished all the facetime calls and all the concern and prayers from many. 

Throughout the experience we were strengthened by love and friendship of those around us. We are truly blessed.