1.14.15 My sidekicks

The break was so nice because we everyone home. The big kids are so good with the little kids. It has been a hard adjustment to have them gone. The little kids do things like this during the day.

She has stopped taking naps and thus gets into all kinds of mischief while I get some much needed sleep. She is also learning to clean up some of her messes.

Reed is a good ring leader and Millie is showing that she likes to clean up and have responsibilities too.

And most of all they love being together. I think it would be way hard to take care of just one, I would have to do a lot more playing. As it is I referee, provide food, and instruct. Family is a good place to be.

At Christmas we had lots of visitors. One cousin has a bad habit of biting, he reached out for Millie and got her good right below the eye. It didn't slow Millie down much but it sure looked awful for a couple weeks. She was ready to go out with the kids to sled. She and Livy rode on the 4 wheeler with Greg they had a great time.

1.12.15 Week 37

I have a few more thoughts on birth and life, as this big event creeps up or springs upon me. As I mentioned last week I am trying to stay focused on the positive eternal aspect of accepting this baby into our family. It is fairly easy to make a baby, heck even fun! Morning sickness not so great, and the tiredness is a real trial. The enlarging body is kind cool and amazing how distorted one can get and still function normally. The downside to having a large family is I have given birth to each one and so I am well aware and awash with memories of most of the births.

I try very hard to not dwell on the birth experience. I record it in my journal as a benchmark, but try not to re-hash the experience as I don't want to dwell there. I always try to think of the moments just after birth when I see my baby, when I find out what it is, and when I hold it in my arms for the first time. The euphoric feeling of having done something really hard, again, and enjoying the precious baby that I have known very intimately for at least 9 months.

However, this time I have also stumbled on the realization that it's such a small moment to experience birth. And conversely  how long lasting the effects and promises are of being born. To give a body to an immortal spirit, to be part of my family forever, and thus have eternal potential. It is such a small window of time to have all those gifts. I listen to mormonchannel as I sit here working on our books and I have been enlightened, touched and uplifted as I learn more about the atonement, personal choices, people who have endured great hardships and the many possibilities that we have as mortals on this earth.

I am given heart and hope. I keep thinking "Child who is kicking me to pieces inside, you have a great future ahead of you!"

 I'm so thankful to be able to have children and to give that gift to each of these valiant and worthy spirits who have been waiting and learning for a long time for their chance at earth life.

I hold on to the fact that Jesus Christ suffered all things and knows more pain than this experience is going to be. I know that if I rely on his understanding and presence the experience is sweeter and easier to deal with. I also know that you just have to go thru it. So as with most my journeys in life I just dive in and do it. It will and does pass and the other side is a much nicer place to be.

I love the place we deliver I love the peace of it and the care and patience of the caregivers. I love that my husband will go thru this with me. I know that his love, confidence, and support are wellsprings that I draw from and they too give me peace and comfort that all will be well.

Finally to my apprehensive friends, it is ok to be scared, but not okay to give in to fear. Satan hates our bodies he hates that anyone else would get a body and he tries to steal this divine act and the beauty and empowerment that it can bring. Hold onto the truth that you were created for this purpose, it is beautiful and wonderful, and you can have help. Like all mortal experiences there is pain but there is great joy too. Until next week.-- hopefully my books will be complete then!- holding onto faith. My best to you.

1.10.15 O Tannenbaum- Hail the Christmas Tree!

Last Christmas post I think. Millie is starting to make those funny faces that are so common, I've learned, in 18 month old to 3 year old kiddos. I thought years ago that my younger brother had taught Harold this trick, but I've learned it's just a stage.

She thinks she's so funny.
Mark and John were the tree helpers this year. They are shaking the dry needles off the tree before bringing it into the house.

 

The little girls found something else to occupy their time while we worked on detangling lights and making sure the tree was mostly straight up in the bucket of rocks we anchor it in. We bought these beauties at the scout auction last year. Love them, and so thankful the maker gave us two for the price of one.

We were privileged to have Aunt Brenda with us this night. She also helped control the chaos and is the norm with having company helped us keep the fighting to a dull roar.

 Because we couldn't decide who would put the star on the tree we let Aunt Brenda do it because she had never had that experience. It was a gracious act of sharing and stopped a difficult choosing for mom and dad.

And finally a family photo of our successful decorating night!

1.9.15 More Christmas Traditions

One of our Christmas traditions is doing meals on wheels. I did this program when I was a kid. It was always slightly crazy as the list was in no order at all, but I remember the feeling of taking something so precious as a hot lunch to an elderly person. It h as been an easy way to share some Christmas cheer and instruct my children in how powerful they are in sharing their enthusiasm and innocence with people who are pretty lonely. We were able to go out on the day that help them to hope also sent gift bags. There was about 4 armfuls to take to every door. I was very thankful that we had chose this day as I had lots of willing helpers.

Loaded up and ready to deliver

Some people had to wait for a turn and took selfies to occupy their time!

A successful delivery on a warm December day.

We had a rousing discussion one night around the dinner table about Santa Claus. We don't do a lot with the Santa Claus thing and when asked point blank I do not claim their is a Santa Claus. I explain there waws a good man who did give presents but that he is no longer alive and we give gifts to remind us of Jesus' gift. This made Addie a bit unfriendly toward the Santa Myth but she was willing to go through the game to get her candy at the school program. It was a nice program the kids all sang and acted well. Mark did a remarkable job memorizing the leading part for his classes enactment of the big bad wolf. I didn't realize he had such a large part and hadn't helped him at all, he did a great job though and was a really cute wolf. Addie was a little pig and kept them organized as well. She is quite the task master.

And finally our humble tree. There are no awards for beauty but it is functional, it did not get tipped over and our home is kid centered as they are the majority group. I think it is important that it is their own and cannot police them in keeping out of a perfect tree. I love that it is ours. Our traditions, our handiwork, and our celebration. In our first few years I was sad we had none of the school ornaments, no collection that had been gathered over years of living. I'm glad we are now arriving at too many ornaments and memories to put on our small space limited tree. It's like we have arrived as a family, and I love that the kids do the decorating they know the routine and delight in it however humble it might be.  I seriously love this big boisterous family of mine. What a blessing they are in teaching me to be bigger than my selfish heart might have been.

1.7.15 Sleepy Dad

We keep long hours here. My husband says it's the result of being the oldest son up with is mom before day break and out late as his dad's helper into the wee hours of the night. I thought before I married him I had lots of energy and stamina but am learning through the years I am very mortal compared to his amazing ability to go all the time- day in and day out year after year. But sometimes he wears out. Mostly because he is quiet for a minute or two. I caught these one Sunday as he dutifully listened to Addie read. Or Addie read him to sleep. I love the kids all over.

Note that the kids are not restful I love the pulled ear, climbing and squirming. What a great Dad!

Actually to be fair he usually looks like this when home with his kids. He is happy to have them on his lap, sharing his supper and loving their time with him. I'm so thankful for this great man who loves being a dad and who takes very seriously his responsibility to take care of us. He's a great guy, even if he falls asleep in the lions den!

Disclaimer all those clothes are clean waiting to be sorted to go to respective kids. Livy is getting her shoulder ride. Amazing she's big enough to demand a ride and the bigger ones are way too big to get a turn anymore. Time flies when they are all around.

1.6.15- Christmas Set-Up

Obviously we had a busy month of Christmas- don't we all, when we have children? Or maybe I was just eating lots of cookies??? It's hard to come off that sugar high. Actually we were very busy with church, school, the end of basketball for Anna, life, and the normal things that have to keep happening to keep living. It was a great month in terms of accomplishment and one that has put me in slow motion mode ever since.

After much doing good elsewhere I realized that the days were passing us by and we needed to get our house decorated and our tree up on December 15th. This also happened to be a special day for Greg and I. He got me flowers. A first for many years. He did in the beginning of our marriage but when we became focused on saving for a house all extra things were done away with. I have regretted that focus on many levels as I do like flowers, but I like a savings account too. I was very surprised when the florist was leaving his shop that day as I got there to pick the kids up from the bus. The flowers were the extent of our celebrating that day as we were trying to get festive here at home.

One of our Christmas tradition is to make a paper chain to hang on our tree. It's hardy, cheap and a good activity in sharing and patience and it's okay if it gets handled. The last few years we've invested in staples and stapler as it is so much quicker than waiting for glue to dry. Although we never have enough staplers it is still an exciting task. Livy was big enough to help some this year.

Another of our traditions is to make amazing paper snowflakes with our very talented Aunt Brenda. We love when she comes home. She was super patient instructing 7 kids how to fold, cut and carefully open these masterpieces. Don't be fooled by Reed he folded (I think) and then pointed to where he wanted Aunt Brenda to cut. I took the little girls to bathe and read a story to try to  calm the situation a bit. Aunt Brenda's annual trip home is an exciting beginning to the holiday season each year.

1.6.15- 36 Weeks

The time has flown by. Being Relief Society president, having 6 kids in school, and all the other things we just do has made this pregnancy quick! I haven't been counting weeks, just hoping it wasn't as close as it seemed from the growing size of my belly and the constant heartburn.

Last time I allowed myself to be very scared. To be nervous and anxious. It was a hard place to reside for a month. This time I'm choosing to be hopeful and faithful that it is a small moment of time to bring a new person into existence. I've learned to choose a scripture to anchor my rambling thoughts and this time it's going to be D & C 121: 7-8

      7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

      8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

I'm looking forward to meeting this person who is so active in my belly. I'm excited to see who they become. As I've watched and listened to my chidlren this Christmas I realize what a blessing it is to have each of them in my home and life. As I tell them I worked hard to create them and they should not take that lightly- John and his jumping/climbing stunts about does me in! But seriously we are blessed to be able to have each of them and to be given stewardship over their persons for this small time they are in our home. 

Creation is an amazing journey and I am humbly grateful I have been given this opportunity and ability. So with that, back to my bookkeeping and bracing for the first day alone with the three tornadoes as the big kids are all back in school. Back on the treadmill racing through our lives. Happy New Year.