1.12.15 Week 37

I have a few more thoughts on birth and life, as this big event creeps up or springs upon me. As I mentioned last week I am trying to stay focused on the positive eternal aspect of accepting this baby into our family. It is fairly easy to make a baby, heck even fun! Morning sickness not so great, and the tiredness is a real trial. The enlarging body is kind cool and amazing how distorted one can get and still function normally. The downside to having a large family is I have given birth to each one and so I am well aware and awash with memories of most of the births.

I try very hard to not dwell on the birth experience. I record it in my journal as a benchmark, but try not to re-hash the experience as I don't want to dwell there. I always try to think of the moments just after birth when I see my baby, when I find out what it is, and when I hold it in my arms for the first time. The euphoric feeling of having done something really hard, again, and enjoying the precious baby that I have known very intimately for at least 9 months.

However, this time I have also stumbled on the realization that it's such a small moment to experience birth. And conversely  how long lasting the effects and promises are of being born. To give a body to an immortal spirit, to be part of my family forever, and thus have eternal potential. It is such a small window of time to have all those gifts. I listen to mormonchannel as I sit here working on our books and I have been enlightened, touched and uplifted as I learn more about the atonement, personal choices, people who have endured great hardships and the many possibilities that we have as mortals on this earth.

I am given heart and hope. I keep thinking "Child who is kicking me to pieces inside, you have a great future ahead of you!"

 I'm so thankful to be able to have children and to give that gift to each of these valiant and worthy spirits who have been waiting and learning for a long time for their chance at earth life.

I hold on to the fact that Jesus Christ suffered all things and knows more pain than this experience is going to be. I know that if I rely on his understanding and presence the experience is sweeter and easier to deal with. I also know that you just have to go thru it. So as with most my journeys in life I just dive in and do it. It will and does pass and the other side is a much nicer place to be.

I love the place we deliver I love the peace of it and the care and patience of the caregivers. I love that my husband will go thru this with me. I know that his love, confidence, and support are wellsprings that I draw from and they too give me peace and comfort that all will be well.

Finally to my apprehensive friends, it is ok to be scared, but not okay to give in to fear. Satan hates our bodies he hates that anyone else would get a body and he tries to steal this divine act and the beauty and empowerment that it can bring. Hold onto the truth that you were created for this purpose, it is beautiful and wonderful, and you can have help. Like all mortal experiences there is pain but there is great joy too. Until next week.-- hopefully my books will be complete then!- holding onto faith. My best to you.