11.5.16 My guy

Things are improving here. We are settling into a routine. I'm pretty sure Bruce is growing and I'm finding ways to manage the mass of people that live here. This has been an epic battle. From feeling terrible about letting Bruce get so skinny to not meeting the needs of the other people in our home it has been a long haul. However from many conversations with the spirit I've come to know that I'm blessed because I have options. While this new baby thing has not been when I remember from the other kids it is a new deal with more than 10 kids thus new norms have been created and embraced.  

One of those norms is bottles. I've never used bottles before. In fact my sister had to explain how they worked. How to mix formula and how much at a time. I've finally got to the point where I can pump and nurse enough to keep him satisfied but thank goodness for formula and bottles that got my guy through the days I could not.

That was a hard thing to embrace and admit. I've always done just fine making fat happy babies. Bruce is an amazing baby in that he has not been unhappy through this whole deal. He is so peaceful even while being starved from his tongue tie. I took this picture last week. After admitting I had been too ashamed to take pictures for the weeks of him losing and then slowly gaining back to birth weight. I'm working on forgiving myself, and remembering I was trying everything I knew to help him grow. He  really is a patient kind spirit. I'm excited to see how this plays out as he grows. I think after the activity of his three older sisters I may really need his patience.

During this time of working to grow him, they have been amazing little busy bodies. The piles of broken dishes and jars, food stuffs -think wheat and flour and eggs and water- sometimes separately and sometimes together strewn about, the books, blankets, dolls, dress-up is staggering. Thank goodness for youtube- they watch Mr.Rogers, and the starfall.com app. Even better are the kind grandma visits that give them the attention they need and crave. And mostly thank goodness that we have learned and survived thus far. Survival is highly underrated!

Bruce has started smiling. He is so cute! He was flashing some great grins during sacrament meeting last week at the three oldest. It was so fun to watch them glow as he showed his love and appreciation for the older safer siblings he adores. I am loving the teenager-baby dynamic of love. Not so much the running and constant activity of teenagers and need for sleeping cuddling and sitting of newborns - that has been another reason to resort to the bottles in the car while we run hither and yon- but again options and new solutions are blessings.

This day Afton was just done. She has been a trooper as well. She's been bumped from baby to big sister and has mostly embraced the change. However too many bumps and tussles and too little sleep caused her to fall asleep in my lap over Bruce. He was pretty ok with it until he was ready to switch nursing sides. Such is the life of lots of littles. We are all sharing the same space and time, we are also learning to make the best of what we have to work with.