9.30.14 A Shield of Faith

Being a mom is hard work. Countless hours of homework,  repeated dishes and laundry, faking a good attitude when you're not feeling it, the concern and guilt that are always present it is a tough act to pull off 24/7 for countless years. With the responisbilites for my brood and the ward ladies I feel pretty maxed out and torn in a million pieces most every day. It is hard to not feel guilty about not making dinner or seeing a lonely widow or doing missionary splits or talking nicer to my eternal question asker. I often think I am failing a this mom deal. Our family doesn't do lots fun things, we aren't like everyone else. My kids have struggles. They don't have the most merit badges or piano skills or whatever.

Harold pinning his rank advancement pin at the recent court of honor. I was so mad at another kid climbing the roof just as the meeting started...ugh! I was therefore the only mom not to hug their son. Oops. Gotta let it go faster.

However, and this is the reversing your but's, that's okay. We're okay. Today is a new day. Everyone has been gone for half an hour, no my dishes aren't done and no my house is not clean and tidy but we are okay. Today is a new day and I will try to take what worked yesterday- getting dinner figured out by 8 a.m. and done by 1 p.m. so when they hit the door at 4:15 and I get phone calls about emergencies at 4:00 I will be able to get through it. A little organization, a lot more rolling through, and more begging or maybe the word is pleading for help from the master of all God.

A dragonfly that curiously came in and ended it's life furiously trying to get through the screen window. Livy loved it. No blood just a puddle left by melted raspberries she enjoyed while standing on the good couches to look out the window.

As I took a true inventory last night of our family and how my kiddos are fairing I realized after some spiritual recentering found in family home evening and scriptures and prayers that they are becoming who they are. They fight hard against somethings like practicing and regular chores- although some do it easily, and they show talents I'm not sure how to encourage. They are funny, unique, awrnry, and rude. They make me laugh and grind my teeth and sometimes swear. I love them desperately and I detest the crying and demands. It made me wonder am I ok mentally? I think so. It's just a lot. All the time.

Not to  just leave you in my muddled mind I loved this talk by Elder Ballard- The Shield of Faith
The quote-

"Lest parents and children be tossed to and fro, and misled by the cunning craftiness of men who lie in wait to deceive, our Fathers' plan requires that like the generation of life itself, the shield of faith is to be made and fitted in the family. No two can be exactly alike. Each must be handicrafted to individual specifications..... Husband and wife, working together, fit each child individually with a shield of faith made to buckle on so firmly that it can neither be pulled off nor penetrated by those fiery darts. It takes stead strength of father to hammer out the metal, and the tender hands of mother to polish and fit it on."

My work is to polish and know my kiddos. Some days are better than others, sometimes it's other people who shine the light on those amazing people who live here. But we keep working at it, one hammer blow and one more rub of the polishing cloth. It is daunting and overwhelming but I know and have seen and experienced the power of Heavenly strength and control in helping me do this work.

Millie picking up onions. One of the smallest I've seen. She found a couple and was so pleased to be big.

I know I can because I have and I know it is only because I have humbly and fervently pleaded for help and intercession. I'm so thankful for that testimony and knowledge that God is intimately involved with parenting my children and making me a better person. I wondered when the first three were little if we could do too much scripture stuff? dumb question yes. We were doing scripture devotional in the morning and family study at night but it got me through. It made my kids good at memorizing, it centered and lifted me when it was very hard. More of what works and less of what doesn't always makes more sense even when the world says just the opposite. Do more activities, more alone, more me and individual stuff. When the answer here has been do less activities, be together in a peaceful way and enjoy the opportunity to be hugged a lot, to be needed, and to relearn algebra!

I'm so grateful to be a mom and to be blessed by continual refinement in the fire of life. Hopefully the dross that is so much a part of who I am, will be purged and the gold I admire in others will surface in my being as well.  All things are possible with God, even surviving motherhood and raising strong, faithful, intelligent, industrious, and kind children. 

9.17.14 My helpers

Sometimes it's best just to take a picture. These younger kiddos are getting the benefit of that philosophy. Where the older ones made me tear my hair out and admittedly got some stern discipline these little terrors get pictures and moved away.

Corn starch and spoons, and lots of tin foil. The costco roll... oh boy!

I was busy making bread and pie they were busy playing. I should learn or figure out a way to get the door to shut on my pantry as I don't like cleaning up their messes... oh I'll miss this someday I've been told. Maybe.

What mom?

In Livy' favorite book- Little Mommy-- It's a golden book worth buying love the story and pictures we have read it over 1000 times I'm sure. Anyway the little girl does the things her mom would do so I guess that's what Livy was attempting. Or just trying to get my attention. And as always Millie is a quick study and ever present shadow. It's all good it was safe and cleaned up mostly easily.

I do love these two little tornadoes. It is good to have them in our home and it is great that they have each other. HOw lonely it must be to just play with mom. I'm never as free thinking or creative as the other kids here. It's fun to watch Millie learn to ride a stick horse or rocking horse and run. It's interesting to listen to Reed and Livy play animals or hunting or whatever they come up with. I love the camaraderie of this big bunch of mine. I would have never planned it this way but I'm thankful it's worked out. Life is good and messy around here.

And the reason why I have a shop vac always present in my kitchen. To manage living with my children.

9.15.14 The Pack Rat is DEAD!!!!

Saturday was a happy day when we found the trap sprung and a dead pack rat. Now I think it may have died on the trap and then the trap had to spring because so much pressure was on it but we were excited and grateful to have one less pest around.

You would think with a herd of fierce kitty cats no pesky rodent would stand a chance but they mostly lay around and wind around feet when you are trying to do something like carry a 30 lb laundry basket in the dark to the clothesline.

The kids were impressed and proud of their dad. We had to wake them up of course, because it was Saturday and they were sleeping in, meaning it was past 7. It was nonetheless a celebration, when they arose, and learned the pack rat is DEAD!!!

So because the fierce kitties do like red meat and the rat was very likely poisoned,  the boys took the rat and a shovel and buried it in a hay field and that was the end of that rat.

Check out these piles. Aren't they weird? They are all over. They were neatly stacked at one point but either it was sick, bored, or someone else tipped them over. They are not as orderly as I first observed a few weeks ago. Anyway now we have to find time and gloves and masks to clean up the mess. But thank goodness hopefully no surprise attacks of rodents while we do it. Oh how I hate rodents. Best to you, hopefully you aren't battling animals that want to live in your spaces too.

9.15.14 Lots of Action

As the Relief Society President one of my main jobs/ concerns is the welfare of the members. Particularly the sisters in my ward, but all members are on my horizon. So I realized last week while canning I could call the sisters and check the status of their preparations for winter. It has been really hard to go visiting with my babysitters gone and my babies running wild. But I can talk on the phone and text so I've had to adapt and try to wash some of the guilt away that is ever present in my life.

I will also add the background that I gave a talk to the ward a few weeks ago about being prepared. I quoted from Spencer W. Kimball's conference talk in 1974, Why Call Ye Me Lord Lord? This is a profound amazing talk, not to mention session. I would encourage all to spend some time pondering the messages presented therein. In my talk to the ward I admonished the members to get prepared. To be ready for the things that are happening all around us. Floods in Rexburg Idaho, riots in St. Louis MS, earthquakes, shortages in our local WINCO. I mean how much does it take to realize it's here? The time is NOW! I was a bit worried after I gave the talk that maybe I had just soapboxed. It came after the week of weddings and I had not had a lot of time to put into study. But it was what my fmaily is/was working on and it felt okay so I went with it.

Lo and Behold I was so thankful when the Ensign came this month. The message from our current prophet is Are We Prepared? Phew, I was inspired. After polling ward members last week and catching one on Sunday. We went into action tonight. Greg is 1st counselor in the Elder's Quorom and we have a great bunch of workers here. We were excited to get to help.

It is so awesome as a mom to watch my kids fill the needs of others. To watch them use their time in loving and caring for others. The widow we went and helped said we did in 1 hour what would have taken her a month. Yeah! And she is set for half the winter. We will come back when she is ready for the 2nd round.

All went mostly well for the kiddos, no big injuries a few scrapes, slivers, and maybe a bruise or two. But the highlight of the night was when two men were splitting a log and a piece of the maul came off and cut the assisting man's forearm. Blood started dripping. Greg called for me. I hurried to our van, which we cleaned thanks to the mouse invasion so all our stuff was gone. I found diapers and figured they were good at absorbing. Grabbed the mans arm and applied pressure while raising it above his head. Sat him down in my van and talked to him to see how he was handling the situation.

Greg may like splitting wood a bit much. He is amazing. All those push ups sure show. Addie was a trooper as always. That girl does not quit. No job is too big or hard for her and she stays until the end. Love her.

He's an ex-rodeo cowboy single man. He did great, I didn't get woosey cuz' I didn't look. I was more worried about him and all the kiddos. And trying to keep the situation calm and hear the spirit whisper. A friend had a very awesome first aid kit that he secured a great wrap from. We tightly taped the diaper with the wrap. He got a blessing with oil, which I am now carrying in my purse after 2x of needing it and not having it. I can be more prepared even in small ways. The two men loaded up in a pickup and headed to the hospital to get some extra care as the wound was not stopping bleeding in a quick enough fashion.

Just learned 3 hours have passed that the metal entered and exited his arm, not sure if it was just one sided flesh or went through the arm and out the other side. Nonetheless it will be okay. 

My friend's blood. A first as I don't remember having other people not in my family bleed on me. Oh well. All in a night's work.

It was exciting and calm. How thankful I am for the priesthood on so many levels. The men are such hard energetic workers, such humble kind men to take time to care for others, they thought to include so many kiddos to teach and work with them, and they were able to stop and refocus and bless and calm another. It was an awesome night.

9.13.14 Survived Canning!!!

I had to post that we survived canning!!! In the process my cell phone died and thus the pictures are blurry. We also filled almost all the jars I had previously used in years past. WE found a pack rat living in our shed with the other empty bottles when we were preparing for the last push of pears. And  discovered mouse evidence and thus a mouse had invaded our van. What a great Friday it was last week.

You can see how strong he is. He had just found the dead mouse in the trap he set the night before in the car. Hooray! Addie took a picture to celebrate. However the pack rat was more elusive. Or the trap was garbage. But we gave it a big supply of poison which it happily carted off and I am praying it is DEAD!! I'll post pictures of it's handiwork soon. Intriguing although GROSS!

So in the midst of all that adversity I was more than thankful to just get done. We finally got the floor mopped and began digging through the mess that our house had become while we worked on other projects, a week later. Oh the fun.

 The little girls are loving having the big kids gone, so they can make mischief to their hearts content. I tried to take a picture of the table that they had happily played on while I finished the last hurrah of fruit. Fruit cocktail.

-- Now some impressionist photography. My phone was dying so not up to the fabulous resolution it usually musters. But you get the idea. 

Do you ever sometimes really dislike the traditions your mother-in-law created in your life? I mean that with love and sincerity. I know she has things she does because her mother-in-law did. Never quite right or up to par but you try nonetheless. I have some of those too, and fruit cocktail is a big one. I like it but I don't die for it, and it only spells love to me because it takes effort and endurance when it would be nice to be done.

Yep cereal, pears, whatever all over. It cleans up and they were safe, not crying, and pretty happy for the hour plus the cocktail took. You win some you loose some.

 Okay so I'm exaggerating to gain some sympathy. I could have just canned 5 jars of pears and called it quits. But the caner holds 7 and that just seemed so bad to not fill some more jars. So I sliced and diced and de-stemmed grapes, which is the worst part, and made 14 qts of fruit cocktail to show my undying eternal love for my husband... And was grateful for his mother who didn't kill him and so painfully raised him up- her nursing stories alone are excruciating just to listen to, not to mention the endurance and faith she had to stick to it being his mom- to be a great man. 

So hopefully we will still be friends and it does make me wonder a bit what am I doing in my kids life that my future in-laws will groan about and think Why?? And then hopefully do anyway to show their undying eternal love for my 'spoiled' kiddo. Best to you.

9.12.14 Football National Anthem

The Willowcreek Warrior Warblers were at it again tonight. They opened the football game with their spirited rendition of the National Anthem. They did a great job and are getting quite comfortable in front of the crowd.

You might notice the Saunders kids are very tall. The kids they are next to are their classmates they are all about a head taller than their classmates...

 They have a list of venues in the future a local volleyball game, and then the crowning moment they are rumored to be scheduled to sing at a professional hockey game!! Pretty excited about that one as I loved hockey games in college. And after doing some quick math our baby will be here by that time as well. So weird that we are scheduling past that event which seems so far in the future.

It was funny we gathered down in the student section before the game. The mascot also was in that area. The poor little kids were scared to death of our vicious vikings. Instant tears from the babies and my big strong Reed was hiding in the bleachers until his bigger stronger dad showed up and was able to coax him out from under the stands.

The boys had a great time playing football with other boys of their age. And a special highlight was the arrival and departure of the local news station helicopter.

They come and video football games around the valley. It was pretty cool that they came over and I decided that would be a dream job to fly around getting clips of games on a Friday night. Probably never but looked pretty exciting. 

As was expected the kids, namely Addie, was starving to death at the game and begged about 2 million times for something to eat. After having my fill of the game and watching the kids getting antsy we decided to head out. Of course while in town we headed to the grocery store to refill. Decided to reward the kids for their patience with hamburgers and pop at home. They were so cute exclaiming that it was the best meal ever when we sat down to eat.

It was a fun night, another memory and hopefully that will satisfy their football need for the year. Excited to see a volleyball game and hopefully we will dodge the viking warrior next time.

9.6.14 Triathalon

No I did not do a triathlon but 4 of my children did!! It was awesome. They are awesome and I was really proud of each one. IT is hard to realize as a kid that winning is good but completing is also an accomplishment.

Last week they brought home a flier announcing a kids triathlon this weekend. I checked the distances and they looked reasonable and the fee was not too high so we gave our permission. After a late night by Greg and Harold getting bikes in shape the kids were ready. I called Aunt Brenda who is an endurance pro and make a blah stomach friendly breakfast of peanut butter oatmeal and instructed the kids to drink and drink water to be prepared. We had a minor meltdown over who was riding what bike. But a gracious sister conceded and allowed a very sad brother to use her smaller bike and she used a bigger one.

Registration.

The contestants ready and eager.

We were however almost to the deadline, of course, for registration. We were able to turn in our papers and the kids paid the entrance fee, from their summer money :). We got situated and dressed down and headed to the pool. It was a blur of activity from there. Harold was in group 1. Aliza and John in Group 2. And Mark in group 3. I tried to get pictures of each kiddo but they, as usual was too fast for me. Thank goodness they have each other.

Harold lining up for the swim portion. He was last here but made it through.

John almost done. He said this was the worst part.

John needing to do one more lap. It was so fun for these country kids to ride on the smooth town pavement.

Harold made up lots of time on the bike. He was first by quiet a ways. He had to wait as they figured out the running route. He was the first boy finisher. That costly wait cost him the win.

I didn't see Mark swim Addie was helping him get dressed as Reed checks out the action. It was busy.

Aliza coming in from the ride. She did well I had a hard time keeping up with which kid was where on the course. She was bummed that she was in a different group. But she completed the challenge with no prep and a lot of determination!

I hope this is done again as it was a great contest. The kids did not puke, although it seemed they might at a few different points. They did something new and they didn't give up or drown or die. It's good to do new things and it's good to be challenged past your limits and see you can do very hard things every time they come up. Way to go Kiddos!

A final note. It is very hard to not compare my public parenting to others. While I missed parts of each of their competitions I did keep track of Livy, and found all the required shoes that were tossed after 1/2 an hour, and did pack Millie through helping kiddos dress and figure out the course. It is hard to do these group events, but we did it. So just like my kids frustrated with not figuratively winning the good mom image because I was not  calm, collected, and casually visiting with others. I do get credit for not loosing anyone this time and helping the kids got the experience. Maybe next time it will be more ideal, or not.

9.5.14 Canning Peaches

I always get the comment "I don' know how you do all you do..." Well that was answered tonight, again. My kids do all we do. SO I have dutifully been canning peaches all week. Slowly miraculously they have ripened slowly  enough I could handle it. But I realized tonight they were looking pretty ripe. I worked from 8:00 a.m till 1:30 filling jars and I did approximately 35 jars. Not bad for a one person show and three kiddos into various items of interest. Oh and some lunch.

She has ate her weight in peaches this week. She's handling it well it's good to be little here lots of people to love you.

After dinner I told the kids they needed to spend 30 minutes with me doing peaches- each kid. We started at 6:20p.m. and by 7:50 we had done 37 qts of peaches. They lifted, peeled, prepped, and filled the jars. It was humbling, frustrating, and AWESOME! Humbling to see how fast they could make it happen and to try to stay on top of the assembly line, frustrating to see how futile my efforts had been, and awesome to see more empty boxes and just get them done. Oh how I love having older kids. They are so capable. I did have to compromise and listen to pandora with them. But it's always interesting to listen to what they like, John is sure a music man. He lives for listening to music, and Anna is pretty reasonable in her choices and is a great censor.

Please excuse the tired mom. Aliza is again posing for pictures to make sure her spot is shown. She did happily peel for an hour straight. Then insisted we needed pictures to remember the event. Love that girl. Livy is into dressing herself multiple times a day.

Our assembly line. It was best for me to half, pit, and finish off packing jars. Anna was slicing, sugaring, and capping jars.      

The big view. Thank goodness for lots of counter space peaches peaches everywhere. I can't wait to have my kitchen back.

All in all as always when I work with them I realize this is not just my work. Mormon channel is playing  show called How to Know if you Are a Good Parent- one of the comments was that having a large family does not mean the mom does all the giving. It's more about how the children and grandchildren give to each other. I testify to that. My kids are so kind, thoughtful, fun, creative, and instructive to each other. They have a ball with all their cousins making up new games, songs, projects etc. Kids love to be with other kids. And they are capable of being major contributors to family life.
A disclaimer while most the boys are missing from the pictures they did help with peeling. They were assigned to help with the little girls and to pick up stuff outside...it was mostly done. It is so nice to get so much accomplished in such a short space of time. They are a great crew. 

Harold reading to Addie and watching the canners. I am so thankful for that strong son of mine. He is a back saver.

Life is good in a family. The table was full by the end of the night! We are blessed.