11.30.18 Interacting

There is something so heartwarming to those times when your children really interact with you. When they finally acknowledge you are their mother. Tonight I was in the middle of homework and getting through the required to-do's and Alia just started listening and smiling and stopped the entire production for her turn. Aliza happily snapped a few pictures. 

Today was a long day. I spent most of it trying to put together a blog/photo book I've been wanting to print for years. In the process I filled the house with smoke because I mistakenly left a pan on the element. I also missed my nap only to find in the end the project didn't work.

It's rare these days I attempt anything other than the must do's like dinner, dishes, and laundry. It was so enjoyable to sit at the computer and create a precious keepsake. To remember and view my older kids in the spots these younger ones now hold. The irony of being impatient with the younger one's needs while I worked on memories of the same times with the older ones was not lost on me. And I was very sad/upset when it was all for not.

I was likewise disheartened and happy that I am on a gerbil wheel. The same pictures of flour covered children, playing, and meals were in that year. Although it was different children with some different special times like the re-assembling of a combine here on the farm brought from Illinois, mostly, life is the same. Although I was much more idealistic back then, I've all but given up on ideals and am deep in reality here. I am thankful the kids seem to still be loving each other and having semi-happy childhoods. There is plenty of crying here to make it far from perfect.

We also re-enter and exit phases. Bruce is in the boots phase. He won't take them off for anything. Which means he should be potty trained for easier taking care of himself but he says no to that too. I think I missed the easy window this may teach me some lessons I will wish I didn't have to learn.

But in the throes of constantly repeating I am thankful to have the experience and get to know each child in our home complete with quirks, challenges, and amazingness. I am thankful to be able to live my life as I choose and to be entrusted with such a great work as teaching, loving, and raising these precious spirits from God. In fact bowled over completely by His trust would be more accurate and maybe why I constantly ask why me? I'm just imperfect me. Nonetheless, this is the life I am living because I have honestly sought to do His will, not mine. Thus we begin potty training again, and continue to wear a child or 4 all day long and snuggle with one all night so she will sleep. What great complaints to have lots of love and attention. I am blessed and need to remember and allow myself to feel so instead of the otherside. Merry Christmas!

11.29.18 My Guy

He rarely gets time with Alia because he is worker #2 here but when he does he sure loves her. She was not sure about this new set up and was not about to go feed cows. 

She was very patient when we took him here to an empty DMV office and waited about 2 minutes for him to fill out his paperwork to get his license. He was pretty pleased. I was a little surprised but shouldn't have been as he gets what he sets his mind to.

He then chauffeured us around town as we did our holiday shopping in preparation for the weeklong celebration of thanksgiving. He is a fun kid. Still happy and outgoing. He is curious and interested in life. HE is very capable and determined. He is humble,and he is smart. He is a kind big brother known to his siblings as the one that tickles them. He still loves to read and likes to learn. He was also confirmed to the office of a priest on Sunday. I am excited for him to be able to baptize and bless the sacrament. He is a good kid and chooses to be so. I am thankful for this kiddo who continues to surprise me just as he has from the moment I knew he would be in our family. 

11.27.18 Eating Out

We live in a pretty great community, we as a family strive to be positive part of our town. I read about a free breakfast at the local diner and thought it would be a easy way to start our Thanksgiving holiday. We won't be traveling anywhere any time soon so the opportunity to eat out is rare, especially with the entire family. I coaxed Greg into coming, he is not a fan of eating out, and we headed to town. 

 The waitress gave Bruce a cup with straw and cold milk to make his hot chocolate drinkable. He was a happy camper.

The waitress suggested the backroom thad had longer tables that we could all sit at, but the girls wanted to live up this adventure complete with bar stool seats. We opted for the front area with booths and stools. The waitresses were so attentive and helpful. They really made this a special experience.

 The kids loved the hot chocolate with whip cream and were in awe of the ice cream scoop size of butter on their huge pancakes. Today Afton tried to use half a cube of butter on her pancake, I told her that was only for restaurant eating.

Aded bonus was celebrating their birthdays. we sure love them even if they don't love pictures.

11.17.18 Making Time

A podcast  I listened to recently said one way to help reduce mom guilt is to schedule time to have fun. Then when you are busy working you can rest assure that the nurturing is scheduled in and won't miss that responsibility. Too often I'm just in work mode, busily getting things done. But sometimes I make time, or am nagged to death by the broken record player toddlers that live here, and we do some things they like. From the pack meeting this week we scored some turkeys to be assembled. The kids started on the project but the overall vision was a bit illusive so I helped with the construction and gluing to make turkey hats. 

This was also the day of the ward party complete with pie and chili cook-off. Thank goodness Alia is sleeping a little longer now and so my anxious helper got to help make some coconut cream pie. She seriously stirred for half an hour. Phew! she loves to mix her own concoctions whenever at the counter. These always get dumped as her creative mixing is not suitable for consumption. Thus to have real responsibility channeling her willingness was a win for us both. I got the pie crust assembled and the pudding didn't burn.

And she helped by holding Alia keeping her happy.

At the party we watched lots of fun games. This one is passing a banana back using only your feet. Kids are pretty flexible! That's Reed passing on his banana.

Then there was a relay race Bruce was on team A and did very well on his ride. I thought it was very thoughtful that even the small children could easily and happily participate in this party.

Then Millie got a ride.

Then the Saunders family was called to be a team. We added an extra red-head who isn't related. The goal was to move as a group into 3 squares. No one was hurt but we did not win.

We chicken danced and turkey hookie pookied. It was a fun night. We also didn't eat chili being kind of anti-bean here. I took chicken noodle soup. Which my family ate along with plates full of pie. Aliza got third place with her triple berry cream pie. The winning pie was actually a not homemade pie but dressed up fancy. It was pretty good. Mostly a nice evening out of the house laughing, moving, and visiting. It's always nice to change up the daily grind a bit and to schedule some fun.

11.16.18 Thankful

When the big kids go back to school I spend the day holding kids almost all day. Sometimes they fall asleep and I'm trapped under kiddos. 

But mostly they are constantly touching me asking to watch youtube videos and wanting to be held. for the first 6 hours I usually hold it together if I got a mostly full night sleep or they aren't too aggressive with Alia. I will take quick breaks for bathroom, sometimes I even get the dishwasher loaded or a load of laundry in the washer and some days I don't. Those are hard days.

Check out the double chin on Alia pretty proud of that development. Which also means she's sleeping a bit longer if not interrupted by eager arms wanting to hold her. Which means I get a little more done like maybe the meat part of dinner. I'm thankful for a pressure cooker and a slow cooker!

THis day I did get the eggs boiled and then the kids took it from there. Pouring water off, peeling, mixing and devouring deviled eggs. They are so resourceful and bored. Sometimes we read stories, sometimes they build or throw blocks, sometimes they disappear to the wonderland of the older kids rooms and hunt for their secret stashes of stuff- toys, chips and candy, make-up whatever can be found.

Alia has been a precious baby. Sweet and not a crying wreck. Sometimes I feel like being the crying wreck. The kids have survived. As we head into Thanksgiving week I'm thankful for resilience, for the long run, and for family. I'm thankful Alia has not succumbed to the nasty long cold we've had here for weeks. I'm thankful to be a mom of such healthy creative children. I'm thankful to be home with them. I'm thankful I have the pleasure of sitting all day and complaining that I'm going crazy in my warm home complete with comfy chair and lots of hallmark movies  with a few good books thrown in to help pass the time. I'm thankful to be here now, even if I feel like my mind and prime have passed long ago. Life is good and we are living it from nap to nap and mess to mess we are teaming with life here. And I'm thankful for that.

11.9.18 Sunset

Election night found me cuddled up with my oldest two daughters and baby Alia. We were ticking minutes off the day watching a hallmark. When Greg came home somehow the conversation turned to voter fraud and we were reminded by a Ray Stevens song about Grandpa voting from 6 feet under ground. Which of course led to a few more Ray Stevens songs. He's a witty talented song writer whom we really enjoy. The moment was too golden to not capture. My 3 oldest who are nearing their sunset in our home. I love their smiles, unique personalities, capabilities, and love they bring to our home. 

These days the sunsets and sun rises have been amazing. So vibrant and big we have tried to capture them but our phones are not finite or large enough to truly capture the awesomeness of the entire sky on fire. The colors change rapidly and the imagination is broadened as the natural show is so much more vivid than I would ever imagine painting or coloring.

I've learned these last few months that motherhood is much the same. It's so much more intense than I can describe. My entire being is constantly engaged raising these kids. It's awesome and so satisfying and yet so hard and tiring. I hope that someday I too will be awesome like these sunsets. My life is much more than I ever imagined it would be. I'm learning it's the finite moments that are defining the big picture. I'm thankful for this opportunity to be a mom. I'm surprised that this has been my path. I'm even more surprised that I enjoy it so much while bemoaning how challenging it is to all I believed I was/am. Yet those golden moments which are happening more and more often wash away the hard and the hurt. I'm so thankful for such a wise God who allowed me to have all these amazing spirits in my humble home.

11.9.18 Again

Days seem to repeat here. Especially with new babies around. Addie is working on some picture books and we came across this picture of Alivia when she was about 1. It looked eerily similar to a mess Afton and Bruce made last week. 

They ran by me looking very white I knew something was wrong but didn't imagine this mess as they are older and should be wiser. 

Because it's really hard to get up when you have this in your arms.

Sometimes I share with the older kids. She is sure a sweet baby who has quickly developed the preference for being held almost 24 hours a day. My arms ache and I'm sore but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

11.7.18 Halloween

We did the annual candy hold up dressing up for the church trunk or treat. Cousin Eloise is getting big enough to participate and we enjoyed spending time with her and her family. 

We found another little cousin amongst the trunks and she kindly handed out a lot her candy to our crew. She didn't seem to mind.

The bigger kids were put to work serving additional refreshments. I was impressed with their leader two handing the condiments. Efficiency right there.

Bruce got a hot dog and a ride from dad.

And just a random throw back. Mark at about age 4. Isn't he cute? I cry when I see old pictures where did those days go? And like most mom's I think my kids are the cutest ever. I love how he and most of my kids really love life. Not that I'm planning their demise. But I appreciate their enthusiasm and happiness, I am blessed to have these great kiddos in my home. And to be sharing in their candy daily as we have some as rewards for cleaning the house quickly, raking leaves, or just cuz it's time for more chocolate!

11.6.18 Days of Fall

Oh the days of fall have literally been golden. The light has been diffused in such a way to provide amazing sunrises and sun sets and sometimes the days are just awesome. We are buried in leaves here. A daunting yearly project getting most of the raked and off the grass. 

John and Mark have spent a lot of time building fence. Here they are getting wire strung out. We have about 300 cows on the farm currently. I'm thankful for the opportunities to work as it keeps them busy and we are all thankful for the nice days. Snow, rain, wind, and lower temperatures are not as pleasant to work in. However no one has melted yet.

And after all these days of working it wears the kids out. Car rides are the favorite place for the young crew to take a nap.

11.5.18 Family together time

Our little Alia has definitely brought us closer together. I mean a lot closer together. This picture is pretty common these days 4 to 8 kids all huddled around. Sometimes it's sweet and sometimes I yell stop touching me. After 12 plus hours of constant kids it's all I can do not to crawl out of my skin. If I left my hair I think Bruce would be pacificed for days. 

She is a sweet little pumpkin though. She loves the older kids and tehy love spending time with her. 

Sometimes Aliza takes turns. Bruce is getting a little more awnry with Alia. He has mastered the big toothy smile that is so endearing that he flashes after he has done something naughty. While cute hs is also getting to be a bit too big for his britches. Next up for him full on potty training. I'm working up courage to begin that process.

Alia loves for Aliza to talk and sing to her. I'm amazed how long Aliza can talk to her. Obviously she's going to be brilliant with so much stimulation.

Babies are good. While it is uncomfortable to go through the process of getting them here it is amazing the love they can bring to a family. We are thankful she is safe and sound and in our home. And working towards being happy and peaceful with all the loving that is going on here.