3.20.21 Perfect

There are moments of perfection in life. This was one. I was so at peace I had to take a picture.

Is that silly? The air was perfect not hot and not cold, just perfect. The sun was full my laundry was blowing nicely to dry in the gentle breeze. My kids were at various stages of activity. All was well. 

They had worked on some house yard projects. They are capable and willing so away we went. 

Man is so content outside. He is not so happy inside but outside he just sits and watches the action. 

Mark the kite master got several kites up for the kids. They loves watching them float and dance on the air currents. 

Greg allowed some time for a bit of clay throwing. The boys did very well. They have come a long way. 

Man was so interested in what the other kids were doing. 

Perfect is peaceful. Amidst all the concern and worry it is nice to have short breathers. I love spring as life awakes and the world renews I find hope. I love my piece of heaven on earth and I'm so grateful for cameras to help me capture those moments so I can remember when life is crazy, hard, messy, and so overwhelming we had peace and goodness and no worries for a bit awhile ago. Life is good. 
 

3.19.21 Return

This week marked the one year anniversary of the COVID shut-down. Having lived through 9/11 I have seen some history made. However, this time this week has not been one of celebration but one feeling the many losses of the year of COVID. Yet, with the losses were great gains. We had time, we had peace, we had growth, and each other. As life/the world SLOWLY sluffs the shackles of COVID, life is starting again. 

I admit I am having a hard time working to engage in all the requirements of community involvement. Yet, seeing this lady all decked out in her official dress and more importantly the smile of happiness (I did not capture) made me want to become invested in life outside my home again. Although virtually attending, she was able to participate in the election of the 2021-2022 State officers. She was able to represent her chapter and her district. There is something powerful about this ensemble of blue and black that gives confidence and belonging. 

I made cookies for the kids at home, one somehow got a piece of lettuce on it, we called this the Addie cookie. A dash of healthy amidst the horrible sugar they contain. She is adamant about her health according to her understanding of ingredients. Aliza can usually convince her to make slight modifications. My cajoling does not, and I continue to make sure she eats. 

We have been fortunate to have activity days again. My counselor and myself are assisted by our past bishop. The kids are a joy to work with. We try to have many activities to keep them engaged and to use our time well. So far so good. 

This week we read a story about faith and wheat. After planting wheat the kids ground wheat to make fresh cream of wheat. Some liked it and some did not. 

A quick snapshot of my crew. We continue to work through water problems here. Someday I hope to put my food storage away again. Until then we work around it and continue to restack it. 

The kids voted that it was time for Man to get his long hair cut. This is his final picture with long hair. 

Oh my baby is growing up. Last year I was a nervous scared wreck wondering how we would fit him in, if I would stay well, if he would turn. Now a year of snuggling and just getting it done we are well. Whole in heart, healed in body and confident that we can handle whatever life throws our way. The COVID year has been intense but we have deepened our resolve, worked harder to learn the gospel and held on tight to what matters most. I'm thankful for the peace and strength of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As we work to return to life outside our home and farm I hope we don't loose what we have learned and still find time and ways to keep our focus on what matters most. 
 

3.18.21 One Day

 One day a long time ago my world was turned upside down when I was very surprised to be having my baby a month early. We endured and learned so much in the ten days he spent in the NICU quietly growing and getting strong enough to come home. We had many days of sweet snuggles, troubles, and joy watching him grow. He was a sweet kid calling me mother instead of mom. He would come every morning first thing and give me a big hug as I cooked breakfast. Sometimes I got impatient with him as I was trying to hurry. 

We went round after round trying to get him to drink water, clean his room, and stop taking things that he wanted. Oh I worried he would never grow up, or worse he would end up in jail when he did grow up. Yet, today on this his last day of high school I am sad that our time together is drawing short. He is about to pass out of my home and into his own independent life. This makes me cry. Did we do enough, love him enough, teach him well enough, does he have enough good to look back on to give him strength when adulthood is just plain tedious and hard? 

He's been working full time since 7th grade. He is who people look for at the shop. They always ask "Where's Harold?" He has lots of friends over many generations. He has a big smile that matches his large stature. He feels, and he is driven to do what he wants. He loves to win in unique ways. He is strong. 

He had 9 weeks of in person class time for his senior year. That is not what he wanted. He would have loved being the big guy on campus. HE loved giving high fives and reaching out to those that are overlooked. He would have won some fun class competitions. Yet, here we are and for better or worse it is finished. He started college classes in January. That was so good for him. He saw he could in fact compete in a college environment.  He's going to continue with classes until June. Finishing public school is hard. There is a sense of loss of your place. There is a bit of a free fall not knowing what next looks like.  Anna wrung the life out of her school experience, with Harold he did as much as he could and adapted his life to school. 

How I have loved being the mom. He has taught me so much first and foremost what the idiom- "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink!" That is straight up truth for this kid. Yet even though I could not make him do what I thought was important he did eventually learn and has survived despite advice or general wisdom to the contrary. 

3.12.21 Stay At Home Mom conundrum

 The World is such a wacky weird place right now. All that was good is bad and what is bad is fine and protected. Yesterday I read an article saying that Stay at Home Mothers (SAHM) show their children bad examples by staying home. The author explained that ambitious people are attracted to each other and by one of them opting to stay home they were becoming the lesser of the two and that was bad to show children. HA-HA-HA!

SAHM life is not doing nothing. My days are filled with responsibility. From the early morning consult with the accountant to the scheduling appointments and doing ground work for my children's lives and needs. From the constant washing of dishes, clothes, surfaces, people and hands I am busy all day. Even when I am sitting I am caring for the baby, teaching, learning for school lessons, explaining a concept, reaching out to a friend or making more appointments or finding pricing for items we need. 

My place at home is critical and essential to the future of my family and their families. My time teaching, nurturing, caring for, directing/disciplining and loving this group is making for healthy and pleasant people for the future. Life is good and I am not lacking in ambition. 

Yes I gained degrees at that time in my life when the opportunity was there. I have since moved on and raised my children in different time periods. I feel like this new world through COVID and beyond is demanding more of me than I can give but I will not turn a weary eye on the great wickedness of words and ideas that are being propagated and put into the new normal way of life. So no matter the personal cost of leisure and laziness I will work more educating, teaching, explaining, and testifying to my children of what is true and what is incorrect. 

As I cuddled Greg and baby Merle this morning he chuckled as I told him the premise of this news article. He laughed about how I was rescued from feminist ideology, by him, as I meandered through graduate school studies. How thankful my heart is that I did not fall into that abyss of lies and self-denial. How thankful I am to have 13 loving, sticky, demanding, and amazing people that I have created with God and my husband. I am grateful for my life as a mother, nothing is more important or more ambitious than creating and shaping the future. 

I am thankful for eternal truths. I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given and had strength to choose. I am blessed beyond words with love and joy that is second to nothing money can buy. 

3.10.21 Gardening indoors

These pictures are bitter sweet. We were so excited when we watched the YouTube videos telling/showing us how easy it is to start seeds indoors. The kids really enjoyed the preparation. Punching holes in the bottom of the cups. Pouring dirt into the cups and then sprinkling water on the seed pots. 

Then we had a great germination rate. Lots of seeds came up we were so thrilled to see the fruits of our hopes and small amount of work. We used the top of the fridege as we thought it would be safe from little curious fingers, along with being warm and sunny it seemed to be the perfect spot. 

Livy was engrossed in a book. I love seeing her read on her own, engrossed in a great story. We have really enjoyed the books from the good and beautiful library. They are engaging, well illustrated, and interesting. 

The week after indoor planting the kids got outside and planted our early crops of peas, spinach, lettuce, carrots, and beets. I'm so excited for fresh vegetables again. I truly hope the moist ground will yield some crunchy spring time produce. 

They found some carrots we had planted last year. They scrubbed them up and ate them. 

Reed is a great boss. he was instructing Bruce how to plant peas. Bruce ate most of the peas last year so this is a great project for him to be involved with. 

 Well after the promising start all the seedlings indoor died. From over watering, curious hands cutting or pinching off leaves, or something we have nothing but maybe 1-3 basil starts left. I'm so bummed. We need to try again I guess. Hopefully our outside plants work better. Life is good. 

3.9.21 Disc

Well farming 2021 started with a new disc purchase. We tried out a comparable, though larger model, last year thanks to my brother Kevin. The Lempken is a superior cutting and tillage tool to the older offset disc. The blades rotate and are set in a different pattern thus allowing for better chopping and smoothing of the field creating a more uniform seed bed. 

This disc came from Madras Oregon and was delivered via flatbed to our farm. The guys grabbed the tractor and backed onto the lowered flatbed deck. 

Bruce has already claimed his buddy seat for the upcoming farm year. 

Lia was so tired. We got in the cab to wait instead of standing out in the cold. I held her after this and she fell asleep in my arms. This was tricky as the tractor was at a 45' angle and so I had to really hold on to keep from slipping forward. 

The world at an angle. the empty water troughs from hosting cows. 

Hooking up the hydraulics. I love how the guys get to work with their dads. 

This young man is getting tired of waiting for farming specifically tractor driving to start. This chicken is trusting or slow enough to be caught and petted. She has the most beautiful feathers. I am awed by the unique design of chicken plumage. 

The bane of being the youngest is being left behind. Man is getting more and more aware and desirous of being part of the action. 
 

Yes, that is a lot of dirt. With all the snow comes a lot of mud. Constant vacuuming just works the vacuums to death. He is a sweet baby getting close to walking which will be perfect timing for all the activity of the spring and summer months.