One day a long time ago my world was turned upside down when I was very surprised to be having my baby a month early. We endured and learned so much in the ten days he spent in the NICU quietly growing and getting strong enough to come home. We had many days of sweet snuggles, troubles, and joy watching him grow. He was a sweet kid calling me mother instead of mom. He would come every morning first thing and give me a big hug as I cooked breakfast. Sometimes I got impatient with him as I was trying to hurry.
We went round after round trying to get him to drink water, clean his room, and stop taking things that he wanted. Oh I worried he would never grow up, or worse he would end up in jail when he did grow up. Yet, today on this his last day of high school I am sad that our time together is drawing short. He is about to pass out of my home and into his own independent life. This makes me cry. Did we do enough, love him enough, teach him well enough, does he have enough good to look back on to give him strength when adulthood is just plain tedious and hard?
He's been working full time since 7th grade. He is who people look for at the shop. They always ask "Where's Harold?" He has lots of friends over many generations. He has a big smile that matches his large stature. He feels, and he is driven to do what he wants. He loves to win in unique ways. He is strong.
He had 9 weeks of in person class time for his senior year. That is not what he wanted. He would have loved being the big guy on campus. HE loved giving high fives and reaching out to those that are overlooked. He would have won some fun class competitions. Yet, here we are and for better or worse it is finished. He started college classes in January. That was so good for him. He saw he could in fact compete in a college environment. He's going to continue with classes until June. Finishing public school is hard. There is a sense of loss of your place. There is a bit of a free fall not knowing what next looks like. Anna wrung the life out of her school experience, with Harold he did as much as he could and adapted his life to school.
How I have loved being the mom. He has taught me so much first and foremost what the idiom- "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink!" That is straight up truth for this kid. Yet even though I could not make him do what I thought was important he did eventually learn and has survived despite advice or general wisdom to the contrary.
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