In college my roommate was reading a book about the languages of love. While I didn't take the time to read it we discussed the ideas and I have since read parts and even taken the online test to find out my language.
The five expressions used to express love are
Physical Touch- Afton continues to love being the little sister who is getting big!
Acts of service- Anna braided Aliza's hair and put in a pretty pin for church. I was gone to meetings.
Some of us like Quality Time. We feel loved when people spend time with us. Afton was enjoying the reverse role of getting to pull Millie's ear while she slept. Usually Afton is being prodded while she sleeps. hence the reason I hold her for up to an hour so she gets a protected nap.
Some of us like Gifts. Anna made the bread for the week and accidentally made it all white flour. NEVER happens at our house, but the rest of the family was SUPER excited and devoured her perfect white bread. My white bread has never been as good as hers was on first try!
I, however and surprisingly enough, am a Words of Affirmation person. Words mean a lot to me. I ask only for love letters for Valentine's day. We spent much of our courtship emailing and writing to each other as we were over 2000 miles apart for 10 months of our 12 month courtship. I have a very full memory and so to remember things and not misconstrue them in my mind I like them solidly on paper where they don't shift with time and I can re-experience those good feelings that come for kind thoughts. When I feel something I write it and work the words over and over.I try and remove the inflammatory comments and get to the root of my concern learned through experience, study, and or testimony. I am not dictorial. I am learning fast enough being a parent of this large group that running everyone's life is not possible, healthy, or desirable. Warn yes, control no.
Of late I have harmed some relationships because I did not speak the other person's love language. Because they did not speak the same as I their feelings were hurt as well. It was not good. It was very painful. How thankful I am for forgiveness and time that heals wounds. I'm thankful for prayer that helps me work through my feelings and apply some balm to my troubled heart and I'm thankful for my patient, wise, and best listening husband who helps me work through feelings and misunderstandings. He is amazing.
I've found as I learn people's preferred language it is so much easier to love them and show them I do care and mean well. Life is hard and love can be padding and warm, or one of the explosive landmines. The more I care the more often it vacillates between the two- quickly sometimes.
** And I need to add that as I botch one relationship and feel like I must be the worst friend ever Heavenly Father sends others to dry my tears and comfort my wounded heart and show that indeed I am loved. Even in the midst of stupid mistakes and actions Heavenly Father loves me still and sends kindness to remind me that forgiveness is much better than a grudge. Coming from a long line of grudge makers and holders this is very important to know and experience the tender love of God. This has been manifested through kind friends who are more advanced in loving others. I am continually humbled by the care and acknowledgement of my trivial worries that God shows to me. Several friends called and loved me through the most recent episode. Then they brought flowers and rice krispie treats to top off their concern. This reminded me that life goes on and you win some you loose some. Eventually it will be okay.
Love one another. And do unto others as you would have done unto you. Still trying to figure those out, to do them better and to become the person I sincerely want to be. Thank goodness for time to continue learning the Atonement of Jesus Christ and how far reaching and all encompassing Grace really is.
Best to you today.
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