4.21.20 Life resumes

And though we have been heavy on baby life is slowly finding ways to resume. Anna had her job interview final via remote video chat. It was interesting and new, and probably a very real experience for her future. She looked beautiful. This week she will compete for state office the same way, now to find good camera angels, and to sharpen up on what she was ready for a month ago. 

The seasons are changing and the dandelions are in full force. A little girls dream come true. They make many bouquets a day.

And we finally got the call the chicks had arrived. I think with all the travel restrictions flights are fewer to be found and thus these chicks seem to have been a bit more prone to die. So far four have been lost.

 Reed was in heaven and has been carefully watching over them. Here the boys are dipping their beaks in water. A very necessary first step as they are thirsty from transit and need the moisture. They were noisy Merle was not sure about all that and did much better when I covered his ears with a blanket.

The boys have been trying out a new disk thanks to Uncle Kevin. This tractor pulls it well. So far everyone is impressed and sad not to have double or triple the acres to work up. The buddy seat is an added bonus plenty of room for a passenger or three. Addie loves to ride because of the great radio stations and no mom to demand we listen to something other than garbage music.
So life rolls on between enjoying a newborn and taking care of my "cut in half" body according to Bruce, I was working on finalizing pest control and fertilizer plans. We made the decision and for better or worse we are going ahead with the farm plan. Hopefully by the end of the week we will be putting seeds in the ground. Greg has rebuilt the planter with the boys help. He also laid rocks in the worst of the pivot tracks. The boys burned weeds, cleared piles of debris, picked large rocks that were turned up by the discing, and have repaired and prepared the pivots for the year. It's good for them to be learning so much and have a place to go work everyday. Life is good.

4.19.20 First Week

There are lots of baby holders and just one baby. I don't think many babies are as loved per person as this one. Afton getting her first turn!

In between baby and life is school. The kids have to take pictures and send them to their teachers showing completed work.

 A new outfit with claws on the toes for from Aunt Elizabeth. The kids though this was a funny pj set. And the jars and jars of water I'm supposed to drink a day.

A very happy big brother. He loves his new title of big brother!

The biggest brother also loves having a baby at home. As soon as his hands are washed he is reaching for his littlest brother to snuggle and enjoy him.

A tired mama with her two little ones.

It's always a marvel how small they are. I was surprised at Merle's size I thought for sure he would be over 8 lbs like the last 5. We are enjoying his small features and know he too will grow and grow until he is far larger than I. He is doing well learning to nurse and is just proving to be a calm sweet baby.

As I sit here chronicling the week with tears rolling down my face- part hormones, part joy, it is truly awesome to me to be on this journey. It took some years to embrace this was my calling and my life work. It took some reconciling my will to God's. It takes constant work to find joy in the journey. I do love being a mom and I do love people so this job is a great combination of the two. This time has been special although different than the twelve before we are glad to have this experience too. Life is good.

4.18.20 One week later and a Happy Birthday too!

I left off with the last post reporting all the fun of one Saturday ago. Little did I know how much life would change following such a fun day. Friends brought us dinner around 5:30, it was delightful to visit with people who did not live here. We decided to eat around 6:30. After dinner the kids went to bathe in preparation for a movie. I used the restroom only to find my water had broken. I was so surprised and worried! This usually indicated I was about 10 minutes from having a baby. I frantically instructed the girls to find Greg and Grandma Saunders and we waited. They came I got dressed as much as possible. We laid a shower curtain in the car just in case and headed slowly to the hospital. I had no contractions just lots of worry that we would have this baby in the car.

The wind was super strong on the way over and I did not trust that Greg was hurrying at all. We made it to the hospital were screened for illness checked in at the ER, both places I had sincerely hoped to avoid for fear of contamination. They asked if I wanted to walk or ride. The LONG hallway of the hospital is stuff nightmares are made of. I opted to ride this time. I've always walked it before and I swear it is what finishes of delivery prep for me. We got to the Maternity ward where they tested to see if my water had broke. It had, and they began getting me ready for surgery. 

I had spent the 4 days prior also getting ready for surgery, ultrasounds, blood work, meeting with doctors and midwives. I was not unaware of the process just surprised at the timing. By 9:15 I walked back to the ER room and got on the table. A friend from our home town held onto me as the anesthesiologist inserted his small needles in my back to begin my first spinal. The calmness to my legs was so nice. They continued prepping and the guy watching the surgery made jokes. I actually laughed out loud. Oh it was so nice to relax a bit. 

Greg finally came in and the doctor begin cutting and working through all the layers to our baby. I had told the staff about the special name we had waiting if this baby was a boy. When they finally extracted the baby I heard him cry and the anesthesiologist asked what that special name was again. I said Merle. He said yes he has just arrived. It was so reassuring to hear him cry! I could not see him but I could hear him and I could feel pressure and pulling and tugging of the doctors cleaning me up. I was surprised to feel so much yet not hurt. A very strong large black man brought this tiny baby for me to see then they took him to the nursery. Greg stayed with me a few minutes longer to watch the stitching up process, I asked him to go be with the baby and continued to feel pulled and tugged on while they put me back together. The anesthesiologist was fantastic talking to me and reassuring me with what was going on. I was thankful not to throw up, and to be done. 

When I finally got to my room I sat all night nursing, adoring, and wondering. My legs were asleep I could gradually feel them waking up, in fact they said I woke up pretty fast. The room was warm I was buried in blankets and I was so thankful for this sweet little boy. It was a very peaceful night. He was 7 lbs 4 oz at birth and 20 inches long. They thought he would have trouble stretching his legs out but as the hours passed his legs adjusted and he holds them down just fine.

The next day Greg stayed with me most the day just reading and being present. A mere 47 years ago he too was a patient in this hospital although under nurses care as he worked to stay alive. He was a premature baby who then contracted spinal meningitis. He is a miracle for sure. My mom had fed him breakfast and provided the supplies -bread and water cups- for us to have the sacrament in the hospital. It was indeed special to have my husband kneel and bless both emblems for us to also partake of that cleansing strength for another week. This was Easter and a much quieter less sugary one than we have had in years past.

 After a peaceful day together that we ended with a newborn parents steak dinner complete with lovely chocolate cake or cheesecake. I gave Greg the chocolate cake after a few bites and ate the cheesecake so as not to kill off Merle with chocolate overload. It was so nice to just be together. He left and I began anticipating what life would be like without the serious drugs from the surgery. It hasn't been bad. There are moments of ouch that's uncomfortable, but overall it's just discomfort in different places than a normal delivery. I rested Monday and decided to stay one more night just in case. We had been the only patients there but that changed Monday night. I was dismayed to have loud neighbors join me in recovery in the room next door.

I had a sweet conversation with the midwife who delivered Reed ten years ago, she had also just delivered the baby who moved in next door to recover. She shared her sadness that so few people understand where babies truly come from- heaven, and how special they are. She shared her testimony of family and siblings and motherhood. I too shared my testimony with her that I have been so blessed to have so many come to my home. It was a tender moment for me. She said families like mine give her hope in the future that there are some places where children are valued and loved and not just a #@** nuisance. Oh how my heart breaks to think of sweet babies coming to homes like that.

The next day Anna came to take me home. We were about out the door when another baby was born so we waited a bit longer. Anna has been my right hand. She is so patient, calm, and capable. All the kids have been wonderful this week just swirling around. And I have had deep peace knowing I can count on them to take care of life.

We face-timed from the hospital. Bruce kept demanding I bring the boy baby home so he could see him. This is the first picture of him seeing Merle. He was so happy. He had been riding in the tractor with Mark but this new boy baby is a dream come true for Bruce. Mark as pretty excited too. 

 A few days this week Bruce asked Aliza if today the baby boy would be big enough to wear boots and play with him? She replied no not today. So Off Bruce goes with his brothers to work and wait.

Photo credit Addie. Alia is so pleased. She loves to touch his head and be close to him. I of course have spent the majority of the day holding him but all are in love with this sweet baby from heaven.

I'm always amazed at how much the one at home grows between leaving to deliver and bringing the new baby home. This has been no exception. Lia is huge but she's still my sweet little one. Now we have another little one whom we treasure and adore.

As I struggled to wrap my head around this baby's arrival and then had it all change so quickly there have been a lot of emotions and expectations to process. I'm thankful all went well. I'm thankful that the recovery has not been horrific. Truly I am blessed beyond understanding to have all my kids home. We are free to live on our schedule as it need be, they are wise in how our life operates and what needs to happen. Choosing to do our routine is a struggle sometimes but all in all it's good. They have given me time and space to rest and heal. They are curious and come to me when they need to touch base. They have had plenty to do with online school and farm stuff. They are able to be outside to play. We have had many good meals brought in and that is always a nice help.
So a week later almost to the hour we are home, we are healing, we are loving, and we are living a truly blessed life. My mom suggested this is sacred time when a baby comes, I would say this week has truly been sacred. Maybe the surgery and resultant drugs forced that Maybe just the quarantine stay-at-home orders, maybe this is just one of my gifts in having this sweet guy. I don't take lightly his arrival or the circumstances surrounding it lightly. I'm very humbled to have all these kiddos in my home, I'm thankful they are all so healthy and good. It's been good to slow down and just be. I'm realizing that this departure from the normal super busy that April and May are is a gift also to be together to love each other, to work together is a gift as well.
Life isn't always ours to plan and direct sometimes it is ours to endure and learn from. I am learning a lot, I miss the elation of normal delivery I am thankful for the safety with which he arrived. So life is good I am blessed and we are now 15!

4.13.20 Lotsa Learning

Although there has been some grouching and grumbling about school from home there has also been some really fun activities and appreciation for the creativeness of the teachers. Aliza had an assignment to make a Mexican food for her Spanish class. She made Spanish rice to go with dinner last week. This was her turn it in picture for her teacher. 

The younger girls got their reading books and it was interesting to read with them and discuss the stories.

Reed worked through his packets and we got to listen to his teacher read to us. The story is fun and this simple effort was so welcome a small piece of normal. Reed is also doing well reading books everyday. The kids have created a hideout in our back store room and enjoy taking a seat and resting while reading in a quiet spot.

Aliza working on some more homework. Truly this was an assignment. 

 

Anna forever doing pre-calculus math. She is diligent and determined and I'm proud of all the effort she is putting in. She officially graduated on Thursday via the Governor's decree but because she is taking three col cred classes and seminary she will still have plenty of work to do at home. 

The girls teacher has been incubating eggs at home, so they did a small study on chicks complete with art project.

Everyone learns here. That has been an added bonus to all this creative education. Another week down several more to go. This week ended better than last. I'm confident we can do this.

4.12.20 Fastings and Endings

 On Good Friday the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints joined or encouraged the world to fast for relief and healing from COVID-19. We had funny discussions when we were asked to participate as we hadn't eaten dinner when the challenge was given and the kids were worried they were going to have to start right then, and worse miss Grandma's special cold cereal the next day. They were relieved it was actually to be a week away where breakfast is usually just oatmeal. And it was  a week away nothing to worry about. Thursday came and to some I suggested why not just start now then you could eat lunch tomorrow. Afton and Aliza went that route. Others choose to put off the fast for one more day. I was gone again in the morning but all were on board and knew this was the day. They did so well. Millie and Afton skipped breakfast to show their faith. We waited on lunch working through school work and cleaning.
I was so sad to see John go through his school binders and clean them out. He is done with his Willowcreek experience. Eight years ago we made that switch and it blessed our family greatly. He has grown physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. He is such a fun young man. He was an adorable yet shy big young boy when he started but he had great teachers who truly touched his heart, who worked with him and encouraged him to become better. He has and I and they are so pleased with all the progress he has made. I truly was almost more sad for him than I was for Anna missing the end of their last years and moving on with their lives.

He of course is my eater, headache guy. He dreamed and suggested we should try out bagels for the end of our fasting. I found the recipe and he went to work. 

Homemade bagels are pretty good! He made cinnamon and sugar.  I made garlic Parmesan cheese. John loves bagels so this was a great fit for him. I'm impressed with my kids ability and desire to cook things they love. He made thirty bagels none were left, but he assured me he memorized the recipe and is ready to try again.

Bruce walked with me up to my in-laws to visit. He picked me a flower. I cannot kill all the dandelions in the lawn because they bring such joy to my children. Afton had a yellow face all day after she painted her skin with the natural yellow dye of the petals. Her sisters did the same thing when they were her age.
We all survived the fast! We were a little more unified and a little more faithful that the healing power of the Atonement of Christ would be applied to our sick worried world at this time. What a great gift and doctrine to ponder on the day that changed and redeemed the world. God is so good!

4.11.20 Easter Fun Day

I was speaking with my mother in-law yesterday and she reminded me that it's not the mothers job to meet all the needs in her house, especially with so many people, rather to stand back and watch them love and care for each other. Today I witnessed this first hand! I am so grateful to have eyes to see. 

All this week Addie has been working on an Easter funday. In years past we have donated eggs to local hunts, had a fun hunt provided by my sister, and hosted hunts here. We usually have a lot of candy on Saturday with more spiritual thinking on Sunday and other days of the week. This week has been trying to for me so my mind was not focused much on Easter. I did teach the lesson and show the pictures to the kids of the events of Easter week on Monday night, but other than that I've mostly been working to tie up loose ends and meet with doctors this week. Thus, Addie took over and created a truly fun day for her siblings. She stayed up late each night this week preparing. 

This morning I did a more elaborate braid for her before the day started. 

She was very upset the kids had woke up early, thus upsetting her carefully laid schedule from the get go. The wind also whipped up and the day was a good ten degrees colder than yesterday. Yet she had worked hard, and with some encouragement and counseling from mom and Aliza, she went forward although not as happy as if life went as she had planned. 

To start the day finger painting pictures. She made the finger paint from scratch. The kids had a good time this was a new activity to them. 

Then egg dying. They were so cute waiting patiently Mark helped Alia fully participate. 

Next was the scavenger hunt. Addie prepared clues in eggs they had to find.  Note Reed the worker in the background mowing the lawn for the first time this year. He is so good to just stick to a job. He helped hide eggs. 

When Addie came back to the kitch she found a red trail of what looked like blood all over the counter, cupboard and floor. Oh no she forgot to tighten the lid on the red food color which was on the top shelf. So Addie cleaned and cleaned Red food dye. 

The kids came in from the last activity to play with play dough. She had made this late last night. The kids love play dough this was a great surprise!

And finally before they could hunt candy eggs they had to do some yard clean-up. They did some Aliza did a lot. Yesterday Alia fell off the porch onto a rock and has a good goose egg. They were working to move the rocks and get rid of garbage from winter. It looks so nice now. 

I didn't get any pictures of them hunting eggs. I was cleaning in the house while they were doing this activity. Mostly making myself move around and letting them have a fun experience. It was nice to have a room stay clean for more than 10 minutes. I also listened as the spirit taught me to be thankful for the many talents that reside in my home. I'm not a super fun mom, but I did buy the candy, and the eggs, corn starch, food coloring, expensive white eggs, and ink. As I cleaned in my home I realized I am good at keeping things on hand (Addie accuses me of hoarding). I'm working to be/stay at the place where I can be at peace just smiling and encouraging them on. I did not help Addie with this, besides trying to get what she put on my shopping list and telling her where an idea book was. I'm impressed with her efforts. There are more surprises and activities in store. My sister in-law responded to some of these pictures, that she too has great memories of fun things her older sisters did for her.

 I know that as we head into a new chapter and new baby that these kids do love each other, and sincerely work to care for and make life great and mostly safe for each other. I am thankful to be able to stand back and watch. I'm thankful for resources to make days like today happen. I'm thankful to be too busy to do it all. I'm thankful to be the mom. 

Yesterday as I drove around with Millie and discussed with her how this was the day Jesus died and how that must have felt, and as I thought about that today the despair and fright the world must have felt on this Saturday of darkness long ago, I'm thankful for His eternal light and my choice to try to walk with my eyes on Him. I'm thankful for His comfort and peace. Life is good!