I left off with the last post reporting all the fun of one Saturday ago. Little did I know how much life would change following such a fun day. Friends brought us dinner around 5:30, it was delightful to visit with people who did not live here. We decided to eat around 6:30. After dinner the kids went to bathe in preparation for a movie. I used the restroom only to find my water had broken. I was so surprised and worried! This usually indicated I was about 10 minutes from having a baby. I frantically instructed the girls to find Greg and Grandma Saunders and we waited. They came I got dressed as much as possible. We laid a shower curtain in the car just in case and headed slowly to the hospital. I had no contractions just lots of worry that we would have this baby in the car.
The wind was super strong on the way over and I did not trust that Greg was hurrying at all. We made it to the hospital were screened for illness checked in at the ER, both places I had sincerely hoped to avoid for fear of contamination. They asked if I wanted to walk or ride. The LONG hallway of the hospital is stuff nightmares are made of. I opted to ride this time. I've always walked it before and I swear it is what finishes of delivery prep for me. We got to the Maternity ward where they tested to see if my water had broke. It had, and they began getting me ready for surgery.
I had spent the 4 days prior also getting ready for surgery, ultrasounds, blood work, meeting with doctors and midwives. I was not unaware of the process just surprised at the timing. By 9:15 I walked back to the ER room and got on the table. A friend from our home town held onto me as the anesthesiologist inserted his small needles in my back to begin my first spinal. The calmness to my legs was so nice. They continued prepping and the guy watching the surgery made jokes. I actually laughed out loud. Oh it was so nice to relax a bit.
Greg finally came in and the doctor begin cutting and working through all the layers to our baby. I had told the staff about the special name we had waiting if this baby was a boy. When they finally extracted the baby I heard him cry and the anesthesiologist asked what that special name was again. I said Merle. He said yes he has just arrived. It was so reassuring to hear him cry! I could not see him but I could hear him and I could feel pressure and pulling and tugging of the doctors cleaning me up. I was surprised to feel so much yet not hurt. A very strong large black man brought this tiny baby for me to see then they took him to the nursery. Greg stayed with me a few minutes longer to watch the stitching up process, I asked him to go be with the baby and continued to feel pulled and tugged on while they put me back together. The anesthesiologist was fantastic talking to me and reassuring me with what was going on. I was thankful not to throw up, and to be done.
When I finally got to my room I sat all night nursing, adoring, and wondering. My legs were asleep I could gradually feel them waking up, in fact they said I woke up pretty fast. The room was warm I was buried in blankets and I was so thankful for this sweet little boy. It was a very peaceful night. He was 7 lbs 4 oz at birth and 20 inches long. They thought he would have trouble stretching his legs out but as the hours passed his legs adjusted and he holds them down just fine.
The next day Greg stayed with me most the day just reading and being present. A mere 47 years ago he too was a patient in this hospital although under nurses care as he worked to stay alive. He was a premature baby who then contracted spinal meningitis. He is a miracle for sure. My mom had fed him breakfast and provided the supplies -bread and water cups- for us to have the sacrament in the hospital. It was indeed special to have my husband kneel and bless both emblems for us to also partake of that cleansing strength for another week. This was Easter and a much quieter less sugary one than we have had in years past.
I had a sweet conversation with the midwife who delivered Reed ten years ago, she had also just delivered the baby who moved in next door to recover. She shared her sadness that so few people understand where babies truly come from- heaven, and how special they are. She shared her testimony of family and siblings and motherhood. I too shared my testimony with her that I have been so blessed to have so many come to my home. It was a tender moment for me. She said families like mine give her hope in the future that there are some places where children are valued and loved and not just a #@** nuisance. Oh how my heart breaks to think of sweet babies coming to homes like that.
The next day Anna came to take me home. We were about out the door when another baby was born so we waited a bit longer. Anna has been my right hand. She is so patient, calm, and capable. All the kids have been wonderful this week just swirling around. And I have had deep peace knowing I can count on them to take care of life.
We face-timed from the hospital. Bruce kept demanding I bring the boy baby home so he could see him. This is the first picture of him seeing Merle. He was so happy. He had been riding in the tractor with Mark but this new boy baby is a dream come true for Bruce. Mark as pretty excited too.
A few days this week Bruce asked Aliza if today the baby boy would be big enough to wear boots and play with him? She replied no not today. So Off Bruce goes with his brothers to work and wait.
Photo credit Addie. Alia is so pleased. She loves to touch his head and be close to him. I of course have spent the majority of the day holding him but all are in love with this sweet baby from heaven.
I'm always amazed at how much the one at home grows between leaving to deliver and bringing the new baby home. This has been no exception. Lia is huge but she's still my sweet little one. Now we have another little one whom we treasure and adore.
As I struggled to wrap my head around this baby's arrival and then had it all change so quickly there have been a lot of emotions and expectations to process. I'm thankful all went well. I'm thankful that the recovery has not been horrific. Truly I am blessed beyond understanding to have all my kids home. We are free to live on our schedule as it need be, they are wise in how our life operates and what needs to happen. Choosing to do our routine is a struggle sometimes but all in all it's good. They have given me time and space to rest and heal. They are curious and come to me when they need to touch base. They have had plenty to do with online school and farm stuff. They are able to be outside to play. We have had many good meals brought in and that is always a nice help.
So a week later almost to the hour we are home, we are healing, we are loving, and we are living a truly blessed life. My mom suggested this is sacred time when a baby comes, I would say this week has truly been sacred. Maybe the surgery and resultant drugs forced that Maybe just the quarantine stay-at-home orders, maybe this is just one of my gifts in having this sweet guy. I don't take lightly his arrival or the circumstances surrounding it lightly. I'm very humbled to have all these kiddos in my home, I'm thankful they are all so healthy and good. It's been good to slow down and just be. I'm realizing that this departure from the normal super busy that April and May are is a gift also to be together to love each other, to work together is a gift as well.
Life isn't always ours to plan and direct sometimes it is ours to endure and learn from. I am learning a lot, I miss the elation of normal delivery I am thankful for the safety with which he arrived. So life is good I am blessed and we are now 15!
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