2.24.23 Part 14

I have 14 kids. 13 potty trained, working on 11 that are literate, and the list goes on. As I wrote the last post she cried in her high chair then upon release demanded to be held and add her fingers to my typing. I set her down and she discovered a loose lid and played. Her patting my legs was no big deal until I touched her and realized something was amiss. We were both white with flour.  This is not the first time maybe the last and so bittersweet. 

A lot of my day is what's life going to be like in two weeks? Will I be able to read aloud and tell my children I love them or to stop fighting. Will I be awake or just so tired? What help do I need what can we manage? I'm not sure I really don't know on any of it at this point. 

Sad I stopped her fun and spreading it all over.

 This coupled with the pretty for sure realization we are done having children is sad. I said for years we would know we were done when everything fell out. Thankfully my lower region is just fine, it's my working so hard thyroid that is caput. And so after a very valiant life of service it is being retired. The new me will still be me with additives. I will have to recognize those won't be a perfect fit, but are better than cancer. Last summer a lady told me there were major changes coming and asked if I felt it too? 

In the follow him podcast this week the guest shared her experience with a major life situation and how she had to stretch and pull her faith bigger to cover her fears because you can't fear and have faith. Faith such a icicle to hold onto. It is big and yet melts so easily with the heat of fear. I liked the stretching idea though so I'm working to apply that. Along with so many other bits and pieces that's probably the most important. Life is good and we will make it through the next big thing and the flour is managed until next time. 

I was so thankful to again have a friend to consult. I talked with a lady who's husband had this thyroid surgery and she assured me its not too bad. I was thankful for her reassurance and repeated admonition to put the worry about my voice out of my head that it won't be a problem. So much of fear is not heading the wicked whisperings that aren't real or conductive. I appreciated her happy story sharing and long view. We are truly blessed.