6.29.19 Eternity

We had another special experience a few days ago. I got a phone call from Greg asking for the car. This summer with kids working one of us is usually without a car. He had been called by a friend to help a husband give his wife a blessing. The wife had just left in an ambulance. These people are friends of ours, people we have been privileged to rub shoulders with and say hello to each Sunday. Greg asked if I would go with him. I said of course, rearranged what I was going to do, changed clothes, checked my unruly hair and zipped out the door. 

While silently praying for him, I was also excited. I love to share these experiences with him. We arrived at the hospital and began visiting with the couple. She was experiencing more complications from a chronic illness she deals with. We watched nurses and aids come and go and visited with them. Finally, there was a break in the action and after she had shared her peace and testimony that she was ready to go home to her Heavenly Father that today she was just asking peace for the moment and strength for her husband, Greg gave her a beautiful blessing. Yet again, I was so thankful he is my eternal companion. He is good. 

I cried and rejoiced at being able to be a part of such a special time with such exemplary people. I told Anna later I am not at peace with dying and standing before my maker today. I have stuff I'm working on and I need more time and desire to be better, let go, and hold on. 

The hour or so we spent visiting will be a treasured memory. Since my grandmother passed so peacefully I have been privileged to share with others as they walk the path of death and loss. I have a great respect for these sacred events. There can be peace, love, and goodness through this process. There is always hurt, sadness, and grief but there is great hope and so much love from people here on earth and often those on the other side are close too.

One question the sweet lady asked was will I know people in Heaven? Will they know me? Yes and Yes. I think death or the change from here to there happens fast when the spirit is finally freed from the body. I think that it is joyous, happy and familiar in the next realm. And I'm sure that we remember as we reunite with loved ones who they are and why they matter so much to us. 

Today as with so many others there are many burdens, many concerns about things not in my control (read politics) that will affect my family greatly. There are people suffering and grieving as their loved ones slip away both in real death and in choices that are painful to abide. Sometimes I wonder what really matters? Does dinner?  Does this disagreement with my eternal companion? Heavy thinking thus these quotes really spoke to me.

I was so thankful I had taken some time to rest before the visit so I had the strength and the peace from being recharged.  Recovery is important and not laziness. 

There is life beyond this. There is much goodness here. We are blessed beyond words to know a small bit of where we are going and what happens there. Life is special and goes quickly. I hope I am not wasting my days on worry and instead on living, using this small time I have to love well and share the hope, happiness, and gifts that are mine with those that matter most to me. 

I am thankful for special people we come in contact with through our church and community associations. People we look up to, work with, sometimes are frustrated with, and people we go through life with. I don't think it's an accident who we spend our life with and around. As many of these people pass on my mind is weighted on the lessons I learned from them, the way they made me feel and desire to be. Thank goodness for lots of cleaning and hoeing to have plenty of time to ponder. And yet there is lots of laughter from my children while swinging or running in sprinklers, and I see their excitement with each ripe raspberry found. These are the sounds of life today.

6.28.19 Take me to church

I read a great thought yesterday that though it is tiring and seems pointless for parents who mostly wrangle and entertain kids at church that it's so important to put kids where they can learn about Jesus and feel his goodness for a few minutes each week. Of course they would also feel that at home and from their parents but extra doses of that doesn't hurt. 

We go to church every week. After church we take down the flag and take out the garbages. I have kids in every part of church so we get a lot of turns in the presumed rotation. While we waited the little girls and I found some shade. These ladies are growing up and becoming more and more definite in their personalities. They are beautiful and unique. 

These guys got cleared by dad to call the job complete. Which means every speck of garbage was removed and all was orderly! They walk with confidence like he does because of those lessons.

The night before this lady showed her preference for strawberry milkshakes. She go to empty the blender. Missing is her squaks for more, her pounding her tray for ice cream and licking her lips.

Almost gone she is not full yet! I know no sugar before 2, no sweets before bed, blah blah. She won and slept through the night tummy full of strawberry ice cream!

We teach them all the time, by word, deed, and habit. Hopefully all will be well and they will be adequately prepared for the lives they will need to lead. I love this time in our family. I love this multitude of children. We do much, we are learning and becoming better and we are together. Life is good, I'm so thankful for the plan of happiness that explains the why and helps me to keep focused on what's important.

6.27.19 Orchard work for real

We are given the opportunity to serve and then buy fruit from orchards the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints owns in a relatively nearby town. We have not been able to go on any of the suggested nights to work until a few weeks ago. For years we have enjoyed this activity. Stories of families hoeing and thinning sugar beets for service run through my memory. Nights at the church cannery working for ourselves and with others are fond recollections from my youth. Sacred peaceful runaways to the local temple are cherished events, the orchard is also a time for family. Though the orchard is peaceful we also feud, fight, throw, cry, laugh, talk, sing, and get the work completed. 

How I work Lia hanging out the back until I scratched her then I held her front ways in my arms and we kept thinning those abundant peaches. 

I'm pretty sure the little kids shouldn't be on ladders but they bounce way better than I do. I never get on a ladder these days I just work on what I can reach, which is plenty. I appreciate the heavy pruning on these trees making less branches up high but what remains is still laden with fruit

The pictures show the beauty of the earth we live in. A family working together. Oh love at home! Ha! There was much stop talking, really I mean shut your mouth. Stop throwing, it didn't hurt that bad from getting hit with flying fruit, get down, it's not your turn on the ladder yet... I was thankful to be there alone. But there was a lot of visiting a cohesiveness that comes from uniting together to fight a battle- the thick peaches on trees. Knowing we would finish the row no matter how much was there (in all maybe 30 trees). The confidence of succeeding and working together. Hard proceeds good almost always.

And a sign from God or noticed by my photographer the heart in the trees! We grow in love and unity as we work, fight, love, and persevere together. Life is good, and super tedious with mouthy teenagers. Earth is beautiful. And in hopes of milkshakes we stopped to pick strawberries in the dusky light on the way home and then gather some mulberries in the dark. There's always work to help tame a spiteful attitude!  All the earth's a bliss complete when there's love at home. Amen.

6.26.19 Shelling Peas

As I mentioned last post the days have been long and laborious. This day was no exception you can see that it is dark thus it is past 10 o'clock p.m. My sweet friend had given us about 20 lbs of peas in the pod. Oh my! While delicious, that's a lot of work. Never Fear Saunders are here. While we read scriptures nad I thought of all the fails for the day I looked up and realized we can do so much. This guy was so proud of his bowl he shelled. Watching him pick the peas out occasionally with his teeth and then spit them in the bowl was funny. 

The smiley tall lady is so good at getting this younger crew to work and to stay on task.

So we shelled peas and read scriptures and life was good!

I love this family of mine and that they show me again and again how good they are in spite of being so normal. I'm thankful the friend gave us this opportunity to work together and succeed together.

I realized while mowing the lawn with them today that we mostly look for work opportunities. My yard is littered with hoes, shovels, lawn mowers and some bikes. We have a few trucks an old old swing set in need of repairs, a hammock which all size of kids love,  and a lot of animals. The kids make their own fun they are also given responsibilities.

When people say my kids are different I guess they are. I give them time to play in fact I turn them outside as much as possible in the summer, yet I also expect them to work. Much of my life and almost all of Greg's life is spent working. Confidence comes from working, and it makes us more thankful when fun events arise. I'm bored is not muttered much here as that is met well then wash walls, mop the floor, sort laundry, or even match socks. The beauty and the challenge of lots of people is taking care of lots of tasks.

God said: "He cursed the earth for Adam's sake, that by the sweat of his brow he would earn his daily bread." That is a blessing. To earn your bread and to have reason to get out of bed and tasks that show success and progress each day is rewarding. Having others to share the burden with is enjoyable and a great relief when the tasks are large. Life is good!

6.25.19 answered prayers

I've been wallowing around in a low spot for a while. Maybe hormones, lack of sleep in the summer with lots of sun hours, lots of bodies to care for all day etc. Nonetheless the feelings of discouragement and hopelessness are there. In fact, last week when I was at the doctors with John for a pre-scout camp physical and the nurse asked if he had been feeling hopelessness, despair, like things would never get better? I literally laughed till I had tears on my face. I explained he's been doing first time watering, standing in rows all day helping the water stay in the row and move  through the corrigates. Those are long hot hours and hours and days. Then he was working with Greg 16 plus hour days. Yes he's been feeling all those things, but that's real life! The jobs do end, the day eventually comes to a close, but yes it is hard and frustrating. 

Knowing I needed to do some self care I checked out my favorite feel-better-love-people author Jeanette Oke books. She speaks long and peacefully about more prayer, more trust in God, and noticing blessings that come. She also subliminally writes that a cup of tea soothes most troubles. I love her books, they have helped me calm and reset in the past. I devoured one and it was helpful but not enough.

The boys left yesterday for a weeklong scout adventure, they needed to be in town by 5:15 a.m. I was worried I would miss the alarm so instead slept fitfully worrying. I finally just got up at 4 a.m. and dove into my scriptures. I even prayed. I have a hard time getting that in. With lots of bodies always clamoring for something and the ability to be calm, quiet, focused to pray with intent is illusive to say the least. Yet, in that quiet hour I got it done. I picked up made breakfast at least 4 times from 4:30-11:30 a.m. and the day was just so peaceful.

While waiting for Aliza to complete her drive for drivers ed I ended up at the grocery store just for milk. Of course that turned into a cart full of other necessities, I'm trying to re-set my food supply. And after meandering lost through the store as I was so tired I could hardly remember my name let alone what I needed, I was at the checkout. Alia was done! So done! One hand works fine to empty the cart and write the check but bagging groceries quickly is nearly impossible.

I said a quick prayer, "Please someone come along and offer to help me." Not 30 seconds later my sister called my name. I smiled and said please take Lia. She kindly took her in her arms and I bagged my groceries and got out of the way. My prayers were answered lickety split!

This morning as I Studied my scriptures again the verse that stood out most was from king benjamin's address admonishing his people to be steadfast and immovable always abounding in good works that Christ may seal you his and receive you in heaven to be with him forever.
I try to be steadfast in my resolve to follow him. Do my actions and words always show that? No. Do I repent and admit I need to repent, yep! I am better at working on good works. We try to help others we rarely say no. It is my sincere desire to be received into heaven and have a family that also wants and has made the choices to be received into heaven.

Often lately I've been with professional gardeners and they have said don't waste time on the weeds you will never get to the fruit if you just pull weeds. Look for fruit, ignore the weeds. I think there is something to that advice. I often just see the weeds in my life. The problems, the insufficiencies in myself and those closest to me. Yet, there is a lot of fruit and goodness in my life too. These pictures show some. My sweet boy who remembers what I tell him during the sacrament that "he is special to Jesus; and JEsus loves him." My precious little baby who is healthy and happy and so beautiful. She is Covered in toys from a banquet that her oldest brother brought home, and her other brother decorated her in for fun. They are powerful instruments for good.

Time spent with my dad and my kids getting to bask in his goodness and wisdom. Anna learning new skills with her sheep and loving her cousin. The cherries from a farmer sold by his daughter. They are so delicious and fun jewelry. Life is good. I am so blessed. I'm working to calm my fears and drink from the true scripts... not giving in to the confusion, evil, and negative that is so prevalent. Best to you. May you see God's hand and love helping you today too!

6.25.19 Fathers Day

I love green! It relaxes my eyes and helps my breathing steady. I love doing things with my family and sharing with them experiences that are not the norm. We were invited by one of our fun family members to a fathers day outing at Manns Creek. The name had a familiar ring but I could not put my finger on why I would know this place. For the life of me I could not remember ever having been there. We decided last minute, literally, to join the festivities and hurriedly prepared picnic food. We packed the car to the brim with food and people and set off on a nice Sunday drive. To be honest the road there was intimidating mostly because of the racing oncoming traffic. I was not happy about the many near crashes we had. Yet, as we continued to turn right and turn right onto yet another road, the traffic became less and less and we enjoyed the beauty surrounding us more and more. We unloaded and started to explore, eat, and rest. It was a great change of pace and place.

The boys are so good to their youngest brother. Here they are lifting him up on a stick. He so adores these bigger guys who make his life so full.

I think they were playing pirates and fairies? Reed of course is a pirate guarding the mountain?? The girls were using the sego lillies to zap them. Thank you Barbie princess movie for the idea.

 The flowers were in bloom as I had never seen before. The girls gathered many bouquets and enjoyed spending time with the nice Lexie. She is so patient and kind with them.

We love our dads and we love getting away with them breathing some sweet mountain air and trusting they will protect us from crazy drivers and life in general. Life is good we are blessed with strong dads!

6.15.19 R & R

We had a surprise stake conference last sunday. It was shorter than usual yet I still spent a good half of it outside with the youngest two wondering why we even bothered. These are the reason. We bothered for habit, we bothered for principle, we bothered for helping clean up. We bothered so my tall son could - as per his habit- go and shake the hand of the general authority and hear "You're a handsome young man. The Lord is going to do  great things with you!" So even though I had three crying under a window of the packed gym and was not spiritually uplifted much by the meeting I can say it was a win. 

So destress and attempt a family memory we went to see the Owyhee Dam glory hole. The water was just lapping the lip not spilling but sometimes falling in. Bummer. Greg drove the entire road all the way to the third farthest most park. The kids complained, I enjoyed it, he visited with grandma in the front seat. 

I made them get out I was a bit woozy. I had forgotten how twisty those roads are. The water is HIGH! It's been a long long time since we have been in the upper parks. There were MExican families grilling delicious food, it was just a beautiful Sunday, for complaining. Oh life with teenagers.
We got home and dispersed, finally from such close personal proximity. The little girls watched hours of mormon messages.

The night before Greg and I had a rare treat of dinner with my siblings. I'm so thankful we can and do get along enough to eat together. This was an ethnic dinner of basque food. Delicious I have a few ideas to try here at home from the experience.

Most of the group, I'm sad I missed my dad. My parents have been married over 40 years. They are great examples of love and devotion. I always wish Greg had a nicer wife. Sometimes I work on it, Sometimes I thin khe deserves what he gets good or bad. Come what may and Love IT! and he does.

It is my fondest hope that these two silly girls pretending to be pregnant will someday join their siblings and Greg and I for a similar outing and we will enjoy being together as we enjoy each other now.

Life has goes up and down and changes in an instant. It's these people who are closest in DNA and legality that make it meaningful as we keep going. Life is good.