I'm so impatient I want things fast! This waiting has taught me that in the fast we miss the lessons. As I've shared the first few weeks were full of worry and fear. But as time and days drag on I'm more at peace and resolved that this is another experience I will go through. As I told Greg we all have to have a way out but it's not right now, this is an experience. I'm thankful for time to receive peace. To talk to those who are also on this path and learn from their journey.
I've learned the importance of saying outloud my fears but also stating that has not been said and I'm not going there because it is not true to me right now. To label them as baseless fears and to put them out of my path. This has been powerful. I've shared with a few people and I'm to the point of not crying in the intial reveal but as I share a fear or two that's when the tears come. Then I remind myself those aren't verified as my lot and thus don't need to worry about them today. That's helpful.
We had a unique experience helping a lonely lady go to the hospital last week. This was a tender mercy to help her, and to be reminded that hospitals are not new territory nor are they to be dreaded.
An interesting insight was seperating this from my previous pregnancy journeys. The thought as I was tidying up is my stomach doesn't hurt. When I was far along pregnant bending over was a dreaded chore, it hurt everytime. This is not that. I don't feel bad. I feel normal me. I can do what I need to. There's plenty of projects to put my time into. I'm considering painting my inside house. We shall see.
I'm thankful for the many prayers on my behalf. I'm thankful for the well wishes and kind thoughts. I was thankful to get an appointment with the surgeon so we will work through speaking season and then head to the surgeon.
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