7.29.20 Be still my heart

There is a lot of hard, bad, and ugly in the world today. Life seems to be pretty dreary and worrisome but I have a sweet little pot of gold in my home. These sweet kiddos especially this one who isn't making messes or talking back reassures me life is good and mortality is beautiful. How thankful I am to be a mom again and again. The perfect weight of his sleeping content body in my arms is so comforting. I struggle to enjoy the large amount of time required to grow a baby yet I am also soothed by the routine and innocent charm of a baby. 

His siblings are similarly charmed. These were taken at his cousin Marcus' birthday party. I know the year will go fast so we are trying to soak him up at each stage. Hat thanks to cousin Cambree who left it and we borrowed it for a cute prop.

The big brother using Harold's football gear. I wonder if and when we will get back to normal activities like football practice. So many tears were shed blah blah blah about 2020 seniors but 2021 seniors are looking to be totally denied any sort of senior memories. That is sad. Harold was in position to be a serious auto competitor across the pacific northwest, and to do some serious football damage. I'm so thankful that I followed the prompting last year and pushed him to take extra tech courses and to play football. Once in a lifetime is becoming ominous in life as we know it. 

Because life is becoming more finite I'm working to be a better mom to the younger crew. So one night instead of making dinner or doing the dishes to make dinner I stood outside and pushed these two on the swings and just listened to them chatter. Another night I helped Livy with her chores and sang primary songs. I'm working to teach the kids primary songs. It makes me so happy to hear them singing songs we have practiced, I know these will help them comfort their hearts and give them courage in times of trial. Our decision to homeschool has been made by the government policies I'm excited to continue on our journey to instill goodness into our children's hearts. To cement bonds and to offer some really fun curriculum. I am not naive to think it will be easy, life never is. I'm expecting to continue to fortify them and myself and to continue loving and growing each other. Last night as we shucked corn at dusk after a full day of work my heart was brimming with moments like this working together for a common goal. I will miss this and am thankful we have some more time. Life is good.